Won't you be my Neighbor?

408 yards passing, 4 Passing Touchdowns and 2 Rushing Touchdowns, the 1st ever Quarterback to do that in an NFL game. I guess Brett Favre thought he would also do that a few years ago as well. We started the game strong but failed to convert a 4th and 1 just inside the red zone. Orton got hot and connected with Lloyd a lot on the next drive however we held them to a FG. That's when Mr. Rodgers welcomed the Broncos to his neighborhood with a 50 yard Bomb to Jordy Nelson for a TD. King Neckbeard helped Charles Woodson get within 1 TD of tying Rod Woodson for most interceptions returned for a TD all time in NFL history. Mike Mccarthy then caught John Fox with his pants down and did him Deliverance style with an onside kick. Rodgers did his Moses impersonation with his parting the Broncos secondary like the red sea with a run up the middle to make it 21-3. Our defense then returned to it's horrible pass defending ways by letting Eric Decker score 2 TD's to make it 21-17. Before the half Rodgers marched down the field and threw a TD to Greg Jennings with 4 Broncos defenders around him. 28-17 Halftime

The 2nd Half our defense from last year showed up and we welcomed the Broncos as Sterling Archer would say, "To the DANGER ZONE!" Aaron Rodgers got his 2nd rushing TD of the day and pulled out his 1st Championship Belt celebration of the year. 35-17 the Broncos were still in the game until Desmond Bishop forced Daniel Fells to fumble inside the ten yard line. Rodgers hit Randall Cobb on a big play then James Jones got his 1st TD of the season to make it 42-17. Orton then threw another pick in the end zone to one of our playoff MVPs from last year Sam Shields. Aaron Rodgers decided he was ready to put on his show closing sweater and threw to Old man Donald Driver for his 1st TD of the year to make it 49-17 Rodgers' day was done. The Broncos scored a TD, Matt Flynn threw a pick and Orton matched him with a pick to Charlie Peprah to close the game.

Now, let's look at my 4 factors that would determine if the Broncos would stay in the game.
#1 Stop Von Miller: He had 2 sacks but we kept him in check the rest of the game and kept Rodgers upright. #2 Brandon Lloyd: He had over 100 yards but we were able to get turnovers at key times to feed our offense. #3 Don't turn the ball over and keep the yellow flags off the field, we did this very well. #4 Could the Broncos survive the onslaught? They couldn't survive the onslaught we threw at them and in the end we blew them out like I hoped we would. Those are my thoughts on the game and I will talk to you again when I post my preview of Green Bay going to the Georgia Dome.

Championship Belt

408 yards passing 4 TDs and 2 more on the ground I knew he was the one like obi wan said he was. More thoughts to come in the next few days.

The Super Bowl MVP vs. King Neckbeard

Broncos at Packers preview. First let's get injury news out of the way Knowshon Moreno looks like he will play this weekend against the Pack. As for the Packers two pieces of bad news, Bryan Bulaga will be out this week so Marshall Newhouse will make his 1st career start. Last week Ryan Grant suffered a bruised kidney which will cause him to miss this week's game because of the fear that a hit could cause internal bleeding. James Starks will start in his place and the rookie our front office was very high on during the preseason Alex Green out of Hawaii will spell him thus making his NFL debut this weekend. The last point spread I saw for this game was Green Bay favored by 13 points, so we should win this game. Aaron Rodgers this week on ESPN and Yahoo is ranked as the top QB to start in fantasy football with the most projected points. Rodgers should light the Broncos secondary up like the Rays did to the Rangers' CJ Wilson a few hours earlier. Rodgers should throw a party this week and I expect him to get Jordy Nelson, James Jones, Donald Driver, and Randall Cobb more involved in the offensive this week. Finley and Jennings should get there normal numbers I just expect Rodgers to spread the wealth this week. James Starks will hopefully pretend like last week was a bad hangover and return to his former self of the first 2 games of the season. The Broncos have to keep Kyle Orton (King Neckbeard) up right in order to stay in this game, but that is a tall task with Clay Matthews Jr. searching the field and never stopping until he gets Orton like Jax Teller trying to get his baby boy back on Sons of Anarchy. As we learned from the 1 st 3 weeks of the season if Orton gets time with Brandon Lloyd and Eric Decker going down field our secondary can get gashed. I believe we should be able to stop Willis Mcgahee and Knowshon Moerno in the running game with our #1 rushing defensive only allowing 52 yards per game this season. We do that then we can make Orton force the ball to Tramon Williams, Charles Woodson, Sam Shields and Morgan Burnett thus feeding our offensive the ball to put up points and win going away.

My 4 factors that will determine if the Broncos will stay in the game or not. #1 we have to keep Von Miller off of Rodgers or he won't be able to get the ball down the field for the big play. #2 defend Brandon Lloyd very closely and bottle him up because he is the spark plug of their offensive. If we prevent him from getting the ball Orton will have to hold it longer and our exotic blitz will have more time to get home. #3 clean up the penalties and turnovers we commited last week that kept the Bears in the game and would kept the Broncos in the game on Sunday. #4 Can the Broncos survive the onslaughter that our offense will throw at them or the exotic blitz's Dom Capers will as well? I think they won't be able to and we will win Packers 38 Broncos 17. That is my preview of the Denver Broncos visting the Green Bay Packers and I will talk to you next week with my thoughts on how the game unfolds.

P.S. I still to this very day believe that Terrell Davis was on steroids and that was the only way he came back in Super Bowl 32. Fucking Holmgren why did you let them fucking score on purpose?! Until next week GO PACK GO!

NFL ACLB PREVIEWS - #28: DENVER BRONCOS

PERTINENT DATA: 4-12 last year; 80 to 1 odds to win Super Bowl XLVI.
BEST CASE SCENARIO (Neil): The best case scenario for the Broncos involves my man Kyle Orton ignoring everyone, including his new coach, getting shit bombed before every game and then doing what comes naturally to him, raining down footballs soaked in King Cobra and fire into the hands of Brandon Lloyd, the two of them combining to become the most lethal passing combo in the NFL. In this scenario, Orton throws for 4500 yards or so with 30 touchdowns. Shit, Scott Mitchell did it once, why not a warrior king like Orton? Meanwhile, Brandon Lloyd catches 110 passes for 1700 yards and sends Bears fans into a collective seizure which leads to them frothing at the mouth and pulling Jay Cutler from a moving vehicle and eating him on Michigan Avenue. This all helps to mask the Broncos struggles on defense after switching back to a 4-3 only a couple of years after switching to a 3-4. Somehow, John Fox manages to keep the defense from imploding completely and Orton and the Broncos drunkenly swagger to a 10-6 record and upset the Colts in the first round of the playoffs.
WORST CASE SCENARIO (Raven): The Broncos were the first team to make the transition in the '90s to these ugly NFL Europe style uniforms. Actually, those brown ones with the yellow socks that everybody was like, "Ewwww" about were my favorite shits I've seen the past few years. People have terrible taste, and it's because we are engineered to have the tastes we have, so some halfwit homosexual Italian guy dreams this shit up while weekending for four days straight in the Hamptons, and next thing you know every thugged out dude on earth is contradicting his true nature by wearing plaid shorts to a family cookout in the park. But I digress from the Broncos... Colorado is a wretched state for wretched people. I am a rural survivalist, but an open-minded new southerner. I welcome all colors and all types, so long as you are true. Fuck two-faced people and fuck dramatic individuals who create worry from nothing all the goddamned time. So you would think I would be down with Colorado people and their natural survivalist mode, but I just can't, because they are like secret pro-white people who don't outright say, "Fuck those other people," but you can feel it in the air as soon as you cross the state line. Colorado is like Utah but without full-on Mormonism, but it's the same ignorant yet don't they they're ignorant at all type people who then assume the rest of the world is ignorant for not thinking like they do. So fuck a place like that. I'm not sure why Hunter S. Thompson ended up there, but I am sure that's a huge reason why he was so easily suicided and nobody's ever dug a fucking question from anybody to find out whether the boy toy high end child prostitution ring involving both parties in D.C. he was about to expose had anything to do with it. Don't forget that Jon-Benet Ramsey was in Boulder, and her dad was a big defense contractor dude with connections, or that that whole story had the torture signatures of a certain CIA dude that I can't remember the name of but also can't find on the internet anymore because this was like 2003 I was researching this shit, and they've cleansed all of that out the internet. But you know what? You can follow some dumbass on twitter now? Isn't the internet such a great treasure trove of information? You know what, fuck Colorado, and fuck everybody there, and I hope somebody from Colorado is like, "No way man, Boulder is an awesome town, and there's great hiking and microbreweries, not to mention good kush, and Steamboat Springs brah, that's a real cool ass place. Plus snowboarding in the winter." Fuck your white leisure lifestyle. I am a poor motherfucker writing about stupid fucking football teams on the internet for my leisure, and the asshole structure of this asshole factory won't allow for rock solid regular dudes like me and Neil to make money because we actually say what we feel, without toning it down to not insult anybody, or breaking it up into little retard-worthy lists of quick blurbs that get busted into 94 pages on a shitty website so as to artificially drum up page counts to trick advertisers into thinking they are getting good value for their waste of fucking time and money. So thank you Colorado... you are a beautiful state, but I wish all of humanity would burn to the fucking ground, all our cities crumble like the World Trade Towers, all our people turned to dust to be trampled by the barefeet of the truly wretched like myself who are too goddamned stupid to die, so we survive, on the fucking throwaway pieces of scraps you assholes leave behind. And when that happens I hope it happens in Colorado first, at a fucking Broncos game, preferably against the Chargers.
PLAYER TO PULL FOR (Neil): Kyle Orton. Who else? Did you really think I was going to talk up the Tebow child here? Fuck that. I picked Kyle Orton to be the QB for the All-ACLB team and I did it for a reason. Go back and read that if you want to know why you should root for him. I like to think that in the offseason, Orton spent his days fishing in the Gulf with Kenny Stabler, the two of them just drinking, talking life and maybe a little football here and there and then his nights getting all fucked up with Kenny and marauding through shitty Gulf Coast bars, raising hell, waking up in the morning with a strange naked woman next to him, Kenny Stabler lying on the floor with two women of his own and then getting up and having a beer for breakfast before realizing that Kenny still hasn’t gotten up, checking in on him only to find the two chicks Stabler was with half naked and hysterical because they can’t wake him up, and then Kyle keeps his cool because he’s a leader, he’s a quarterback and he runs next door to get that discredited veterinarian who lives in a fishing shack to help him out and the vet laughs and tells Kyle and the ladies to relax because Kenny just took a handful of horse tranquilizers that he sold him and Kenny just needs to sleep that shit off and then Kyle manages to persuade the old veterinarian to give the girls a ride back into town in his beat up old pick-up truck and then Kyle hangs out with Kenny’s dog until Kenny finally stumbles out of the room sometime in the early evening, still kinda fucked up and then he and Kyle drink a few beers before they take the boat out for a couple of hours again, lather, rinse, repeat. That’s how I’d like to think Kyle Orton spent his summer, locked out of football but not locked out of life and that’s why I will root for him and why you should too. Also, fuck it, root for Kenny Stabler. Just because.
PLAYER TO HATE MOST (Raven): Who else? Tim Tebow. That guy was made for Colorado like Jimmer Fredette was made for Utah. I homeschool my kids, but unfortunately because of shithead Christians like Tebow, when you say "homeschool" people think you are some holy roller Jesus freak who doesn't want your kid to know science, when actuality I am just a dude trying to raise free-spirited kids not polluted by government influence, not wanting them to learn about genital warts until, you know, they're old enough to be learning about that type of thing. My call. And while we're on the subject of Jesus freaks, I think it important to tell you about the All Saved Freak Band, which had a guitarist dude from The James Gang back in the day, who probably while on acid, found Jesus. He joined some commune in Ohio, and back then "hippie" was a derogatory term by the media for the long-haired free-spirited types, who preferred to call themselves freaks. (Dumbasses calling themselves "hippies" proudly now is the equivalent of black people calling each other "nigga" all the time - a derogatory term turned into how that group sees itself. Thanks America.) Anyways, the All Saved Freak Band was the first major Christian rock band to ever exist, and some of their music is actually pretty cool to listen to. But I hate Jesus, and think people who believe in God are retarded. See? That's how good the All Saved Freak Band was. New Christian music sounds like sheltered insurance salesmen tried to recreate pop music from 12 years ago for their kid's birthday party, but without anything controversial. It's all so fucking dated and terrible. And that's what Tim Tebow listens to. I guarantee it. I can't even bring myself to look up some famous 2011 Christian music that pretends to be cool to try to namedrop to trick you into thinking I know the specifics about everything, everywhere, at all times, like the god that I am. But I guarantee you Tebow listens to that shit. And it's a shame that Hunter S. Thompson and Oscar Zeta Acosta are not still alive, to abduct this little clean-faced asshole whose soul has never been allowed to develop - for the good or bad - and force him to take like five hits of good blotter, old school CIA blotter, and force him to listen to the All Saved Freak Band for a few hours on a cold ass Rocky Mountain trail, in a stolen Range Rover some douchebag drives in Telluride when he comes to stay at his second home.
BEST NAME ON TEAM: There's probably not a better name in all of the NFL than Elvis Dumervil.
IN A PERFECT WORLD (Neil): In a perfect world, Kyle Orton does catch fire and he does lead the Broncos to a first round upset of the Colts, only to be arrested that same night in West Lafayette after hitching a ride from Indianapolis with some old college friends and getting so shit faced drunk that he pisses his pants and winds up passing out in some random girl’s dorm room and then punching a male RA when the dude shows up to demand that Kyle leave because he’s not a student and didn’t sign in. The Broncos are then forced to turn to Tebow, who throws 6 interceptions in a 56-17 loss to the Patriots in New England and then is caught sobbing on national TV while Bill Belichick hovers in the background, preparing to morph into a vampire who looks like Jesus, which he will do in order to trick Tebow into giving him his soul and then he will eat him. Meanwhile, Kyle Orton will be bailed out by Kenny Stabler and then Kenny Stabler will punch out John Fox and assume the head coaching duties of the Broncos and the two of them will be the new Bill Walsh/Joe Montana for these strange and terrible times, only they’ll be cool and have souls.
PROGNOSIS (Raven): The Broncos are not a good team, but they are decent. Decent enough to go 6-10, maybe a game or two better if they stick with Kyle Orton, or maybe a couple games worse if they make the Tebow mistake. John Fox is a pretty smart dude, who often made something out of nothing in Carolina, so I would expect him to find a way to stick with Kyle Orton.

2011 All ACLB Team Quarterbacks

NEIL: KYLE ORTON
Some would say that I am just celebrating Kyle Orton here because he is a drunk, and I’ll admit, that does play a part. He’s kind of a fuck-up, and I’ll be honest here, I am comfortable with fuck-ups. This is because a fuck-up isn’t afraid to just be himself. There is no pretense there. You get what you get. You can relax around a dude like that. You know he’s going to get drunk and he’s gonna be fun to be around and he won’t get offended by anything you say or do. He’s not going to smile at you and then run off to plot your destruction behind your back. That’s a man I can get behind. In the heat of battle, that’s a man who I want to fight for.
On the other hand, I am incredibly uncomfortable with the “Yes sir, I believe in apple pie and America, and you can trust me since I have a square jaw and I wear a suit to church every Sunday” types. Sure, sure, I can get along with these people because I am good at finding common ground with people, but I don’t trust them. They seem good and honest and decent and this is the prototype that people like Joe Buck jack off to, but damn it, I don’t trust them. These are the dudes who will inevitably flip the fuck out and chase you down a hallway naked, covered in blood and wielding a chainsaw. I have a hard time getting behind these people as leaders because you never know what they’re really thinking. Their true selves – if they even exist and they aren’t just robots created in some super-secret NFL laboratory – are hidden behind a placid, dull mask. Sure, they might be thinking about the best way to lead you to victory, but they also might be thinking about chopping your body up and leaving it in the dumpster after the game. Obviously, these people kind of freak me out.
Unfortunately, most quarterbacks seem to fall into this latter category. They are emotionless drones, crew cut fetishists who make the NFL overlords happy because they are ciphers upon whom the John Wayne loving legions can imprint their own damaged childish fantasies of killing evil Indians and punching out Stalinist aliens with fists made of bald eagles and freedom. I can’t celebrate these dudes.
But I can celebrate a man like Kyle Orton. It is a testament to his refusal to buckle under and become such a cipher that he keeps ending up on teams that want to replace him. After all, he’s not marketable and he isn’t what a quarterback is supposed to look like. He’s not tall, handsome and blessed with a rocket arm. No, he’s a degenerate and a drunk and he always look like he was carried to the field in a boat made from a hollowed out beer keg on a river of King Cobra. But he also gets the job done. He’s always discounted, always treated like the last resort. No one wants to end up with him unless they have to. He’s an unwanted misfit but he never goes away. Instead, he gets better and better and one of these seasons he’s going to have a Rich Gannon or Steve Beuerlein type of breakout that sees him ride to the Pro Bowl and throw 30 touchdowns and then we’ll hear a bunch of dumb bullshit about how he doesn’t look pretty, but he’s just a leader and loaded with intangibles. I can see it coming.
But it won’t come in Denver, where Orton has been kicked to the side in favor of that false prophet known as Tim Tebow. This comes on the heels of getting dumped not once but twice by the shameful Chicago Bears, who first pushed him aside for that idiot Rex Grossman and then dumped him for that asshole Jay Cutler. He is forever unwanted but he just keeps coming back. People forget that before the antichrist Tebow showed up, Orton was having a damn good season. This is an easy thing to miss because the Broncos were fucking horrible but that shit wasn’t Orton’s fault. Prior to this season, as a starter, Orton’s record was 29-19. That’s pretty fucking good. Before he went out with an injury this season, Orton had thrown for 3653 yards, with 20 touchdowns and only 9 interceptions. And again, this dude was playing for a shitty team.
He’s constantly dismissed, constantly being shoved aside for idiots, assholes and antichrists and yet he keeps going out there and putting up numbers that, say, Mark Sanchez could only dream about. Everybody laughs at Kyle Orton because he’s apt to be photographed with a giant bottle of Jack Daniels and a horde of sluts hanging off him. This is because people are repressed assholes. Yeah, Kyle Orton likes to drink and fuck, but he also keeps getting better as a quarterback and he refuses to go away. That is evidence of a warrior spirit right there. He has been forsaken once again, supplanted by a false prophet and now he’s likely to wander the world, waiting for an opportunity to prove that the heart of a champion lies not within the body of a haloed prayer merchant but inside of a broken, bearded, booze soaked body. Once upon a time the world spat in the face of a ragged, poor straggler and strung his ass up and nailed him to a cross because he didn’t look the part. Instead they waited for their false prophet to come and rescue them, for their golden hero, for their Tebow and the tragedy was that all along, their savior walked among them and they turned on him because he had a beard and long hair and he liked to sip on some wine. Fuck your Tebow. Give me Kyle Orton.



RAVEN: BEN ROETHLISBERGER
Popular consensus around the world is that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady would be the top QBs in the World, but as really any President since TV went color will show you, popular consensus is usually bullshit. Peyton Manning is a doofus who, outside of one Super Bowl run, has historically lost big games. And I will admit to the intrigue of picking Tom Brady as my man in this list. Brady is an attractive guy, with his longhair, the type of guy I could see having an affair with for financial reasons. I mean, I’m not bi-curious, even slightly, but really, he’s just such a wealthy and unblemished guy, why wouldn’t you want to stay in a secret condominium, cuddle up with the multi-millionaire QB every now and then without anyone knowing, curling up beside that lanky body, your nose tickled by those beautiful locks, smelling of lavender conditioning, feeling all tingly and happy and knowing he could sign you off a six-figure check and not even blink an eye.
But this is about the QB that best represents the Armchair Linebacker mentality, not creating fanfics about finding financial freedom through entertaining a non-threatening white penis every now and then. And for me, the football mentality is not about being marketable or attractive, because this site is not marketable or attractive. I am not marketable or attractive. I am rough as fuck, tend to do stupid things, and yet still I’m better than most of the shitty sports columnists that get actual American money to write about football. And throwing that all into the NFL roster machines, then for my lack of money, there is no better more superlative QB going than Ben Roethlisberger. Sure, he lost the Super Bowl, but he’s already won two. Sure he probably raped a chick, but he also had sex with a chick in the bathroom of a small town Georgia club. Sure, he’s well known to be a probable asshole in real life, but I’d bet he’s a more fun probably asshole than Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Roethlisberger’s play is ugly, yet entertaining. It seems like it’s always about to breakdown, and then he finds someone open downfield, or he stagger stumbles 9 yards for a first down. He gets it done.
To put it more simply, whether we do this every year for the next forty, or this is the only time we compile one of these lists, the single QB criteria I will live by is the question of how would this guy compare up to Kenny Stabler’s autobiography? Peyton Manning is a corporate entity designed by Nascar. Tom Brady is a corporate entity designed by GQ. Ben Roethlisberger is no corporate entity, and gets drunk publicly and wrecks motorcycles without helmets. He gets suspended for allegedly enough raping a woman, and his team’s self-righteous owner is thinking of dumping him, and all Big Ben does is come back and kick ass with a smirky smile on his face, buy his O-line a round of drinks, making bank shots on 8 foot pool tables, taking pictures of titties, and living the good life of a real deal NFL QB, the way it should be, the way we all dream it when we are kids. We don’t dream of doing Visa commercials. We dream of living as proudly and irresponsibly as possible, and being successful with it. That is the American dream.

TOMORROW: Running Backs.

Orten Part Duex

Denver travelled to Seattle on Saturday night to take on the Seahawks in their second preseason game. After Kyle Orten's abysmal showing in San Fransicso (3 possesions...3 INT's) I tried to be realistic and not worry too much about Orten's debut as a Bronco. Thankfully he rewarded me with a much better effort in Seattle going 18-26 for 182 yards and a TD. The TD came against Seattle's defensive starters who should be a pretty good group this year. McDaniels is never going to ask Orten to play outside his comfort zone. Maybe Orten's smarts and accuracy can see him through this season. If he keeps playing like he did Saturday night, sans the left handed throw for an INT on 4th down, this offense might be able to score 17-24 points regularly. Jabbar Gaffney looks like he might be a good fit in this scheme and could emerge as the #2 WR in this offense if the Brandon Marshall situation doesn't remedy itself. With Gaffney and Royal gaining a combined 99 yards in limited action it looks like they can handle the load and with Stokley in the slot this should be a good group with or without Marshall. I would like to see more out of the running game but don't see anyone emerging as the go to guy in the backfield.

This brings us to the defense. We always knew this was the question mark this season. McDaniels has done what he could to patch the holes on this side of the ball but Hasselbeck had 171 yards and 2 TD's. Our secondary looked confused much of the night. The pressure on the QB looked good at times but the sack totals have to go up. Even Champ Bailey can't cover his receiver forever. Without more pressure on the QB this defense will be just as bad as it was last year. Ultimately, those 17-24 points I feel comfortable giving to the offense may not be enough against many of the teams we face this season.

I think the LB's are improving and many of them, displaced from their normal positions on the line, are adjusting well. Again, I worry about them in coverage. Too many of these guys have never had to back pedal into coverage.

Overall the D played the run well but the pass coverage is going to be our Achille's Heel. With the likes of Romo, Brady, Rivers, Rothlisberger, McNabb abd the Manning brothers on the schedule it's going to be tough if we can't fix the problems we have against the pass.

I'll give the offense a B- and the defense a C.

Preseason Ugliness and Hope

3...count 'em...3. That's how many INT's Orten threw in his first half appearance Friday night in San Fran. 3. Not a good number Kyle. The INT in the end zone on the first possession was the worst. How many times has this offense failed in the red zone the past...oh, I don't know... 5 seasons at least? It's painful to watch. It's not like the San Fran D scares anyone this year. Orten better get his retarded shit together. I am getting tired of hearing that he is a smart QB who can manage the game. Did he even throw the ball down field once? This ass clown has a fucking limp noodle for an arm. All the brains in the world aren't going to change that. If Orten doesn't get his shit together soon it's going to be a long goddamn year.

That's not to say Simms is going to be any better. Yes he scored twice, yes he moved the offense. Too bad it was against second and third string defenders on a D with no depth. His second TD pass was a fucking prayer and if a competent DB had been in the game it would have been pick #4 on the night for our illustrious QB crew. There is no QB controversy because Simms isn't the answer either. FUCK!!!

Breath, brother...breath.

There was some good news. The O-line looks solid and the running game behind it put on an encouraging show. We were able to move the ball on the ground pretty well with whoever was back there (except Lamont Jordan. No surprise there.). Knowshown, despite getting hurt, looked like just the kind of one cut and go RB we need. He looked explosive at the point of attack and easily found the holes. If this isn't a start to some long and winding injury marred career he could be very good. Hillis left off right where he did last year. He is a punishing RB who refuses to go down. McDaniels has to find a way to get him on the field a lot.

I thought the first string D looked pretty good. For the most part the SanFran running game had a tough time getting started. Granted they were running a rookie all night but the D line put in a pretty good show of it. The starting DB's held up as well limiting the 49ers to 3 points. The depth on D worries me a lot. No team goes through the season with out injury and this D feels one away from catastrophe.

Pessimism aside it was just the first exhibition game in a new system for everyone. I am willing to give numb-nuts Orten another chance before I throw him under the bus. He's on a short leash though. He needs to begin to turn this around and prove he can run this offense. McDaniels isn't going to ask a lot of his arm as evidenced in the play calling Friday night but he has to get rid of the turnovers. I mean they were terrible passes. Really awful.

I give the whole team a C for the effort. It wasn't horrible but it also didn't instill much confidence.

What Should We Expect In Denver For '09?

What a tumultuous off-season for the Broncos. I was sitting down at a Mexi restaurant with my family and some friends when it popped up on the TV. Shanahan is gone. What? No one can tell me they saw that coming. With no sound emanating from the tube it was all I could do to sit there and enjoy dinner. As soon as we finished the meal I quickly asked for the check and ushered my wife and the 4 year old out the door. Yep, there it was, the coach for life was being shown the door. Who? What? Where? What the fuck just happened. We don't do this in Denver. If nothing else we can take pride in our stability as far as the head coach was concerned. This was the guy who finally brought it home for us. Helped 7 get his ring. Gave us as fearsome a running attack as you were likely to see. Jesus Christ.

It took a couple weeks to settle in but my next reaction was to be a tad excited. It had been 13 years since we had a new face to lead us. Shanahan's philosophy had grown a little old and his drafts had been horrendous. But who would we replace him with? There were a ton of interesting new faces out there and available. Josh McDaniels was about the last guy I would have predicted as Denver's new head coach.

Okay, he's young. I told myself that wouldn't be a problem. He's from New England. The system has been dominant for quite awhile now. Can they make it work in Denver? Do they have the personnel? Well we do have a talented young QB with a cannon for a ...what's that? The QB (who shall forever remain nameless on this blog) and the new coach had a spat? The QB isn't returning calls? The QB won't even talk to Bowlen? What the fuck is going on here?

This was a decidedly bad way to start your tenure in Denver Josh. I am not blaming all on him. In fact I give Cutl...the QB most of the blame on this one. Shanny and his O coordinator get run out of town and the QB wants to take his ball and go home. Ultimately it's good riddance to bad rubbish. Urlacher has already called the QB, and I am quoting here, a "pussy". Believe me when I tell you that I am going to Tivo every Bears game this year and root hard for the opposing team...HARD! Fuck that QB.

I had just gotten over that and have to now I have to put up with a petulant little WR named Marshall. Talented though he may be he is certainly in no position to be asking for a new contract. Christ sake he may be suspended for the first 4 games. Since training camp started last week he has sat out every practice. Nice bargaining position douchebag. Sit on your ass in the trainers room, rehab and shut the fuck up.

So those are the two malcontents. What of the guys who actually want to play in Denver. Let's start with the new gunslinger in town Kyle Orten. Wow, I haven't heard so many he's "a really smart person" comments since my friend tried to hook me up with his pig of a sister. Seriously, I know Orten has shown flashes and he might be a passable QB but he isn't the long term solution and neither is Chris Simms or the rookie tom Brandstater. I am trying to remain optimistic about Orten but haven't begun indulging in the Kool-Aid just yet.

As much as Marshall angers me we need him on the field. I love, and I mean love, Eddie Royal. He's quick and has great hands. I think he got tired last year near the end of the season hut with a year under his belt he should do great things. Can anyone say Wes Welker?

If the RB's we have can stay healthy I feel confident they can get the job done. No one is going to be asked to carry the load. If Know"show" Moreno can get into camp he and Ryan Torrain should be up to the task. They are both great catching the ball out of the backfield and McDaniels likes to use his RB's that way.

The offense line is set and looks to be one of the best units in football again.

The Defense is the real question. There are a lot of free agent no names filling holes on the line and lots of guys changing positions to fit the scheme. Champ we know is going to be good. Dawkins brings a leadership this D was missing last year and new CB Alphonso Smith is an impressive ball hawk. Our D line and LB's are the weak link on this team. The real question going into this season is how they hold up and whether or not McDaniels can make his system work in year one.

Most people are saying 6 wins. I won't say until after the final pre-season game against the Bears. It's a tough schedule for sure but you never know from year to year how good any team is really going to be.

I'll break down that schedule next time.

Draft Reax

I have mixed feelings about Denver's '09 draft. On the one hand we desperately needed D-line help. On the flip side it is encouraging that McDaniels didn't reach. Shannahan's great flaw when drafting was reaching for need over value. I have no doubt Knowshon is going to be sick:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wz7i3ET5lg

The kid has great hands out of the backfield and is a great one cut and go type of RB. He was also a steal at #12. He doesn't have the jets to outrun a bunch of people but he can make people miss and is hard to bring down with initial contact.

Robert Ayers was the best pick of Denver's draft. Ayers wreaked havoc at Tennesse last year and will be tremendous at the next level.

The Alphonso Smith pick was certainly risky. To give up a first round pick in 2010 is huge if this guy doesn't pan out. It's obvious they really like Smith and many had him as a 1st round guy. It would be nice if Smith could bring his 21 INT's to Denver next year. Turnovers continued to be a problem last year.

The most head scratching pick was TE Quinn at the end of the 2nd round. Quinn's stats are less than impressive and there were better TE's on the board. I have to believe McDaniels took him for his blocking skills.

The Broncos went heavy on value and character in this draft. That is a positive. They were unable to fill some pretty glaring holes on the D line and at linebacker. Maybe the coaches know something we don't. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for now but McD has left very little wiggle room for himself.