Showing posts with label Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Andrew Luck sweepstakes. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

"James"


(part of an ongoing series of speaking in tongues the devil can't understand aka WE ARE LIVING IN THE DAYS OF BABBLE and you're smartfone is the tower)

You have noted the statements said playing in the backyard of his uncle, well, he also called David "Father", and because his father died before he was old enough to know him. As a way to play with these magnets, Jacob found that mission or purpose in life. So he said to David, and said: "Dad, I know you know that." David replied: "Jacob: What is it that you know that I know that?" Jacob's response was: "I'm going to do when I'm with a man," that is, when he finished with the study of genetics. David said: "James, you do not know if you're a person other than the original one already here on earth, you will make the devil himself?" Jacob replied: "But I know you know that." Continuity of Jacob says he knows that his uncle can not get the impression that Jacob's uncle did not know the mission or purpose on earth. And when talking about today, I would not be surprised if a few devil is not a book, because if they put on a birth control in Liberia, which makes other people than we originally, of course it was "did not say the name of charity, but do not be afraid We have the power needed to do the hard work, Brother James reached the age of 12, in other words, it is the knowledge of how he would plant and complete all the universities across the Holy Land, and start walking on the currency black people satisfied his doctrine is based. lies and subterfuge, Genesis 27:35 and Numbers about how he, Jacob, his father's business, competitive, and early 27:36 immigrants will take moths of law. stage of this discovery was to rule over the entire planet, the children of Jacob for 6000 by replacing it. brother, if our history checkYakub close enough, we will to find that he has distinguished his work by replacing Elijah Muhammad said, "Our brothers and sisters in black followed Jacob know that he meant depriving them of their dignity. birth to their right, their clothes (brain average) and I had no idea that he, Jacob, I would deny they expose themselves or their clothing to cover nakedness.

Oh, if I follow the steps of the children of Jacob's day was given, is looking comparable to his works, we all that he and scientists do not go back there, done here today can find, the only difference is the names medical terms or technical change more calls or more scientific terms, which in turn is a form of the highest teachings of tricknology words, etc..

To see whether children of Jacob to compare the works of Ben, we know that he was stripped of the brothers and sisters of the "holy garments" clothes that cover their bodies holy / black. We now see that our clothes on our sisters, our clothes on their backs. You see, my brethren, when your sister or brother has his or her own clothing saints, all the others I actually use them to deceive others. This is Mr. James can not be, because if it was it took him 600 years to come up with its own culture, the brother and sister immorality allowed him to get more children to attract. He made them, they wear cloth only expose themselves, more than half of their bodies exposed to the naked eye. Remember, it was the essence of an experiment that will pass me. So today and for the past four hundred and 10 years, we see the children of Jacob, are experimenting with even more subtle way to their father.

A good place to start would be "Liberia" review. We know that mr. Jacob has a strict control of his birth to the beginning of civilization through the brown babies in black, brown-red, red-yellow. Now remember this is just the main solutions were nine colors brighter as a result.

Many places in the Bible that this change people gathered without any hesitation. Example, the history 17:26, show mr. Jacob probably not plant his people (white person) in black, bone Allah created all the peoples of the blood. Course countries These are brown, red and yellow sides 5 is not really a nation, but "race", a group of people racing animal 400,000,000 times the same verse that shows that the most honorable Elijah Muhammad said, Jacob vaccinated cast sentenced or limited today!. exists beyond the boundaries of their life on our planet was 6000. and we show that about 50 annual delay, and only Allah knows best! a few days he will be allowed to engage in this desert (mentioned in the Bible throws). Verse 42 in same chapter further proof that it was lighter than babies who are divorced dark, it says: "When the controller was bad = light (remember the lighter that was actually weakened them), he (James) put their (ie, not dark) .. Labin was poor, and strong Jacob (Jacob) that can be easily understood that James was a black jet will hold;. means as if there is any doubt that we have an understanding of the Bible ", we can see where it was expected that we blacks our two nations seeds (Genesis 25:23 the womb). In the same verse, it also shows that the one people shall be stronger of the two, and for that matter, any other. Verse 23 is still a young lad older immigrants, we indicate that we are older, have not since the beginning of our history recorded here or there, but we know that a boy change is young and he is only six days! A brother, mr. James has an idea about the demons of his parents created light and dark baby, as in Genesis 25:25.

Mr. Jacob to 150 years old, we would expect the Bible to tell exactly, but I think Genesis 5:03 comes close enough, his version of who she is.

"Jacob goes through the teaching of the Holy Land

After moving about education and socialization of the Holy Land breed of "holy people" for so long a rumor about him and his teachings, one way or another he was jailed. Of course, that does not stop his teachings became famous words, supporters on the floor. Jacob, the God of his people, who are eager for a change, they were not satisfied and industrious teachings of Jacob, and his prison, or they could not and did not stop his ideology. While Jacob was in jail he continued his teachings, the word came to captain, then consult the Sultan, and give him tell; someone other than the original person who was on the ground, and he (James ) is caused unrest in jail (I hope you see Muslims told us, too). So the Sultan a wise man consulted Mr. James. , He asked to import the prisoner, "called James?" Jacob was a big black brother dare he (James) came forward and said: "I will call" smart Sultan said, "As salaam alaikum," he said. Jacob's response was "Wa alaikum Salam!"

Rally on the plan to make an original people who lived people on earth to ask. Jacob said: "Yes, I'm going to do." Then the Sultan said, "You know we can not be like that here in the Holy Land", then Jacob told him if he would give him and his followers land and supplies them to the last eight, went away. It is indicated in Genesis 30:26 (Jacob asked his followers). Genesis 30:28 can give us an idea of ​​what the wise saying Sultan Yakoub, such as: "How much do you need, etc.?" Genesis 30:32 Jacob show Mr Sultan said he would take them all the discontent if he (the Sultan) with the necessary equipment. These versions or deep, but our goal is just to give you a little insight can the mosque show you all the things needed. Allah is with us, we, long ago, to be able to eat from the table of the driveway without interference the oppressors of truth and justice!

A brother, knowledge, only like Mr. Jacob said Sultan skilled in the same area, it would exempt him from all his problems if he was willing to give him and his followers with land, etc., I ask you, is not honored Elijah Muhammad said that the government give us the land and the provision of 20 years and we do not leave him, and therefore dismissed it for lack of satisfaction that he himself (cursed?) Of course, you realize that we, the followers of the Lamb is happy!

Elijah Muhammad's most respected is something very, very much. It depends on how closely we look.

Now we know that he is not going Jacoby, the implant, the supplantation, or to make hybrids. We see what I did with Jacob few degrees of knowledge to do evil. Now, how much more can and will do better lamb with better knowledge and wisdom? Dude, we all think we are, the depth of our thinking depends on how or call our mentality. If we have deep enough and pure enough to think, we find the lamb, not tricks, power crosses, but by knowledge of self, God and Satan. We were before we heard and start to live the teachings of the driveway? Not even our distant associates to see the change in the difference after we receive the Almighty Allah through the teachings of the ramp's? Physical change. Now I must talk about our spiritual change? Jacob people in physical or spiritual birth control, and the most honorable Elijah Muhammad spiritual and physical knowledge of the self. , honorable most of Elijah Muhammad said that we should not make any excuses for some of us noticed that we show that we have as sheep in the midst of a live sex deviant. then he tells us to separate ourselves, and when we mentally and physically cut off, I do not believe to tell me how to get our clothes back, and go all the way back home (jet black).

Hip to see but few understand and acknowledge that it should be for the best, because we do not have to cover our clothing and apparel knowledge. TIS is indeed a shame to see it (welcome) to be so rebellious against their true identity.

"Jacob on the island of Patmos"

Upon arrival on the island of Patmos, Mr. James sure he was there vision of 01:19 or Pelan, located in the Aegean Sea, he started his reign, or a team led by the doctor, a priest, sister and cremator (as in Exodus 1:15 - nurse). Exodus 1:9-10 shows Jacob talking with his other team members, and wonder what we can remember when the Pharaoh of this day the same thing about us, the tribe of Shabazz. Remember the "Hitler" Herbert Hoover, when he was in office?

The role of the doctor for blood tests of people who wanted to marry, and 2 blacks were to be married, he would pass them without question, but as a black person and a sister of light skin try married, he (doctor) I would go behind the screen, repeat They were defects in the blood (lying snake). Now, in the case of these couples decide to live together, or move it, mr. Jacob made a fuss, he just slaughtered. Today, wonder why, before we can get a marriage license (our queen to marry, by the way), we get "blood test" happy? Believe me, accursed Shaitan very obedient Jacoby father! . . . That he is doing the work Letty. Instead go behind the curtain of the day, the doctor what we call "lab", and after a certain number of different shades of the past, or after a certain quota of the year, he says is a lie to try to blend with a brother and sister marry legally read.

Of course, it does not work like it did in the time of Jacob, the son is not allowed to open operations like his father, because he was fighting against his nature, he would be an adulterer. After a man or a woman commits adultery or fornication for two thousand years, there's no point thinking they would be against such in the past year 4050.

The priest's work was now, married, consultant, lying, etc., few, and spread the teachings of Jacob. He did not try to follow the teachings of his father to this day, an attempt to deceive even the chosen - chosen of Allah, go ahead and behind the subject really trying to change the truth lie? All praise be to Allah, the only works in our poor, when it's not really worthy of Allah.

James told the nurse that she was a sharp instrument, which is the soft part of the dark black head boys to hold. She was to help deliver the baby - he called her midwife (Exodus 01:16). Original is a nurse north still fear Allah, he said. James and ask him, ask him if the child's family as he continues to be easy or dark teenager? She did it because she did not have the idea of ​​killing the brothers and sisters want. See followers of Jacob were very well disciplined and he was such a master of lies and deception, his sister convinced when he told her to tell his parents of the younger brother are blessed to Mecca will be taken so that the seed to come will be blessed, and that the apparent relief is the duty of the murder. It was, instead of sticking of sacred black mold brother of the head, take it to the cremator, burning the child without a doubt.

Approximately 600 years after Mr. Jacob formed a team and began his civilization, sleep 9000 in our calendar, its scientists were successful transplant pale skin, show no weakness in life bacterium, pink eyes, they were thick hair wool, languages ​​thick, large nose look like albinos of the day. Tie it can be seen as the devil shows an albino and aversion nest, especially when an albino knowledge of himself, then, that they can manage gloved hand.

By doing so, mr. James can control how many black babies born a year or two, or even how I would be born per hour, day or week or month. Colour separation from each other is shown in Genesis 30:40. That book (v. 37), it seems that he began working with Brown, red and yellow to make the "white" (Caucasian) shows that the poles (sperm) through these things, he said. James with the devil. Today, his children are still trying to make people, they opened up all kinds of balls, the United States has BREEDED as a visit like James Island PELAN those who followed him.

If we expect our documents, listen to the radio, or those who can not watch TV, we can see the children of Jacob is trying to promote birth control system.

Days past, when our ancestors were brought for the first time to the Dominican Republic, the slave master wanted strong backs and weak minds. We naturally strong, so he does not need to be especially where it comes from, because he had a brother, a sister, etc.; baby will still be strong enough to work, but it is easy to see how he perhaps lacking mental abilities.

Just as Jacob held some black, brown, red and yellow babies are born, his island, his children followed measure up trying to keep tabs on what we called Negroes (holy members of black people from the tribe of Allah, the God Shabazz) was born per hour, day, week, month, year. Jacob wanted sperm bacteria, lighter, and his children even worse than what they want to give blacks have to be born to keep their audience and kill the background of a thousand. They want to provide children more uniform to be born by the ignorance of our people will come integration aware. But a limit to how much they should not. It is also consistent with their father Jacob, the character of the title of the devil, murderer from the beginning.

In other words, even starting this birth control system, where they arrived 400 years ago, but now are trying to sell to the public, they have to kill some sacred black children. Between their religious beliefs, they claim, or they must practice the teachings of their father contraception or not.

They are angry with each other and with the Almighty God (Allah) against all the injustice done to their pieces!

Before Mr. Jacob died, he pulled the cards the way back to Israel with him the sacred. After scientists with his men, an annual ten solutions (if they have more than one solution, their already were working sores. We show how weak and sick, as) arrived.

They built rafts and sail back to Israel, the Holy Land. With their entry, they stoned by the sacred black children who have never seen the likes of such people in the past. And the elders, men of wisdom and knowledge, knew that these people are complex, so they issued a decree throughout the Holy Land holy book black people do not like the people that the civilization of Jacob. Sultans sages, or Imans, I had a meeting with some of his men's track and tell them they are going to be allowed to go to sanctify Israel, or remain, and they will be free to any conditions they any confusion or unrest among the people began to go, and they can be intimate with families or eat any offenses (holy land) than cows in the middle of the garden (who was the brother and sisters of the black). By having a brother or sister Black, Jacob's men broke God's divine law of Allah. As we know, one of the main reasons of the will of the implant was the discontent among us, or b to remove. And see that they were just six months, I do not see a need to take the evil among us if we're going to let him right back down through integration.

Genesis 01:05 smart Sultan told them to go to Israel, which they hallow as their black brothers and sisters holy surely die. We know that our black seeds are dominant and kill everything it comes in contact with.

Yes, my brother, within six months after these demons Jacob in the Holy Land implanted all kinds of confusion started, the brothers started fighting with each other and nurses in a similar way. Jacob's men were brothers and sisters are black saints and tell each other their bad word, they began to steal, something not seen in the Holy Land. One of the main disadvantages, as it is today (greed), and want material things.

We, the people of the original, the "best" Of course I have to be the best of gold, silver, diamonds, etc., and these people was transplanted will never see it, and inherently evil, they can not give to lust so They started our gold and silver cups, plates and many other things for us was acceptable to steal.

They will tell my brother, another brother do such crimes, and therefore all kinds of fermentation begins. The word to the Sultan of this turmoil when he was in the country investigation of these demons Jacob was transplanted and found that it caused all the trouble, so he consulted Imans several local directors, and they decided to expel them from the Holy Land. So this afternoon (00:00 minutes) sacred black brothers were the camels with our favorite weapons drawn, the sword, and Job 30:5 says, these people of the holy people across the Arabian Desert in a distance of 2200 kilometers ward valleys, caves or holes and rocks of the earth Europe (Job 30:6).

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

ACLB BIG STORIES OF THE DAY

[I am going to do a new thing where I recap the Big 3 Stories of the day, as Neil and myself have shucked ourselves down to the mental cob, and have decided we will write about everything NFL related this year. Of course we will probably bitch and moan and jibber jabber deliriously about the Lions and Redskins, but fuck man, that’s a lot of stupid fuckers writing NFL bullshit inside these interwebs, and me and Neil should just be doing it all. Seriously. Fuck all these weak ass pussy writers.]

BIG STORY #1: SEAN PAYTON’S 2012 SACRIFICED TO ROGER GOODELL’S GODS OF LAW
Don’t get it twisted and think this is too much or too little or overblown or simply about the changing of NFL culture. Because it’s not. I would guarantee you that last season, out of 32 teams, there were 32 locker rooms with some sort of “bounty” system, albeit less organized than what Gregg Williams did. But it’s not like Gregg Williams dreamed that shit up in a cocaine-fueled frenzy somewhere along the Baja Peninsula. Headhunting is part and parcel of the NFL. Unfortunately, so are crippled motherfuckers after they’re playing days are over. And the crippled motherfuckers have started to band together in little pockets, and get lawyers, and the possibility of a class-action lawsuit would have become more and more real the more dudes killed themselves or had dementia or displayed very textbook post traumatic brain injury tendencies. Thus, the NFL was going to be super-militant, so that when these questions come up in the future, in a court room, Roger Goodell can say, “As soon as we knew what was scientifically happening, we had a zero tolerance policy. Our hands are clean.” There will be other perfectly innocent men according to historical NFL standards who will be sacrificed at the hands of this legal maneuvering. But the NFL will not get crushed with liability for every player ever. They’re playing lawyerball, as Hank Hill would say.

BIG STORY #2: TIM TEBOW GOES TO THE JETS (BUT MAYBE NOT)
Hearing about Tebow going to the Jets made me lololol in my brain all afternoon. Here you have the goldenboy Jesusback, going to play with a fat dude with a foot fetish. How would Tebow be able to let his retarded kid charity people stand sideline when Rex is over there cussing left and right and masturbating to old Leg Shows during booth review instant replays? Still though, I thought a Mark Sanchez/Tim Tebow reality TV show, where they shared an apartment, would’ve probably been the only reality show I’d ever want to watch.
But now Tebow is pulling his God card, and had always wanted to go to Florida, where he grew up and played college ball and lived amongst a bunch of right-wing God-believing simpletons in the past. New Jersey is like New Babylon to those people, a purgatory of funny-talking unbelievers. Laron Landry going there made perfect sense, as now he can fully embrace his muscle worship bisexual tendencies. I personally have no problem with that, but I think Tim Tebow would not be down with teammates have R&B workout sex in the showers and Mark Sanchez sneaking his normal three-pack of 16-year-old girls and case of Michelob Ultra into the QB video room. Tebow to Miami makes sense because really they’re one of the last teams left without a chair during this QB musical chairs thing that’s going on. But Tebow to Jacksonville makes even more sense because it means Tebow can still play in the NFL, and be relevant and win a game here and there and be like, “All praise to God, the Christ one not the brown one or freaky Asian one or anything else.” But none of the rest of us will ever have to see it. Still though, Tebow in the greater NYC Sodom & Gomorrah would be my personal preference, especially if he somehow still won and turned the place into a wholesome area. Then I wouldn’t have to cut west through Pennsylvania when going to New England.

BIG STORY #3: RGIII PRO WORKOUT DAY
Half of the Redskins management team went to Waco to be there, because they are leaking semen all over their burgundy and gold boxer-briefs in anticipation of bringing Robert Griffin III to D.C. So of course it makes sense the Colts went to RGIII’s Pro Day too, to confuse the Andrew Luck is natural #1 pick, at least enough to bother me. I do not think Andrew Luck’s spirit warrior nature is strong enough to conquer the complete dysfunction that is Dan Snyder’s Washington Redskins. Then again, I don’t think Robert Griffin III is enough to conquer it either, but he’ll at least be more fun to root for.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dolphins Watch: Suck For Luck




To understand the Miami Dolphins’ plight, you must first understand the infrastructure of the team. This truly is a sad sack team going nowhere fast. Let’s start at the start here: Bill Parcells left the team after a rift with General Manager Jeff Ireland and head coach Tony Sparano. It was one of those, “Okay fine, you think you can do better? Knock yourselves out!” type situations. I’ll have more to say about Big Tuna in my next post, if I live to see such a thing.

In any event, that left a power struggle within the team. Former Kansas City Chief executive Carl Peterson is owner Stephen Ross’ right hand man. He’s the de facto team president now that Parcells is gone. He’s running that team in everything but name. Now, Ireland worked under Peterson with the Chiefs as a scout. With Peterson having Ross’ ear like he does, Ireland has been able to convince Ross that he has assembled a playoff worthy team. They keep saying in interviews “The talent is there, the talent is there.” All this adds up to bad news for Sparano.

Because if they believe the talent is there, that must mean Sparano is just doing a bad job of coaching it. And sure, there’s some truth to that. For example, Reggie Bush has never in his lifetime been an every down, between-the-tackles rusher. For some drug induced reason, Sparano seems to think he can turn him into one. Also, Sparano’s forte is supposed to be offensive lines. He was an offensive line coach for the Cowboys before taking the Dolphins’ head coaching job. He prides himself on being able to cobble together good offensive lines.

However, in his four years with the Phins, the only real bright spot on the line has been left tackle Jake Long. Marc Colombo is a turnstile at right tackle. Richie Incognito has been disappointingly Richie Incognito. And rookie center Mike Pouncey has struggling with his snapping accuracy. All of this needs to fall on the shoulders of supposed offensive line guru Sparano.

Also, it is a running joke among Miami media types how excited Sparano gets for every field goal that is made. He seems all too willing to take the three points instead of trying to hammer out more touchdowns. Perhaps he has Dan Carpenter in his fantasy league or something. If he loses his coaching job, he can become a special teams cheerleader.

So what this means is that Sparano is going to be the fall guy for this lousy season. Peterson is whispering in Ross’ ear that Ireland is doing a good job. Ross has said he admires Ireland because of the businesslike approach he takes to putting together a team. Ireland assigns a value to each player, and is unwilling to pay more than his assigned value. As a businessman first and foremost, Ross appreciates that fiscally conservative approach that Ireland prides himself on.

Even when it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. See, with Chad Henne out for the year, the Dolphins needed a new quarterback. David Garrard was asking for a million dollars guaranteed. Because that was more than the value Ireland assigned to Garrard in his pea sized mind, the Dolphins refused to give it to him. What ended up happening instead was, they signed Sage Rosenfels off the scrap heap for about $900,000. So instead of having the best available quarterback on the market to try to salvage their season, they now go to battle with the fearsome combination of Rosenfels and Matt Moore at the league’s most important position. (Lest I forget Quarterback Develin sitting there on the practice squad. And no, I have no idea what that person’s first name is.) And for all the bluster of fiscal conservation and business sense, they didn’t really save any money in the deal, either.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. Suck for Luck. That is Dolphins’ fans mantra this year. Many Dolphins fans have gone from angry about the way the season has been going, to outright hopeful that they tank the season and get prized prospect Andrew Luck, who has been compared by many experts to a young John Elway. Getting Andrew Luck would immediately add hope to a franchise that hasn’t had stability at the quarterback position since Dan Marino retired, and currently sports perhaps the most bland, boring brand of football in the NFL. They need a spark. They need Andrew Luck.

It’s going to be a dog fight for that first overall pick, of course. The Indianapolis Colts remind me of the San Antonio Spurs. The one year David Robinson was hurt, they tanked the season and ended up with Tim Duncan. A similar situation could unfold in Indy, where next year they will get Peyton Manning back, and they could groom Luck behind him for a couple years before he takes over full time.

There is also the Seattle Seahawks, who might be the only team in the league with less hope and a less inspiring roster than the Dolphins. When Charlie Whitehurst represents hope for you, you know you are screwed. There are other teams in contention as well, such as the winless Rams and the Vikings, but they already have young quarterbacks on their roster, which in theory would make them less likely to want or take Luck in the draft. The other big Luck contender is the Chiefs, but thankfully they’ve been dumb enough to win twice already this season, creating a comfortable little cushion between them and the Dolphins in the Luck sweepstakes.

What it boils down to is, every game the rest of the way for the Dolphins is a must lose situation. There are some really rotten teams in the NFL this year, and it might turn out that two or three wins might be too many this year. They need to go 0-16 to ensure themselves Luck. Maybe it’s for the best that they didn’t end up with Garrard. Garrard is talented enough to help the team win four or five games, effectively taking them out of the bidding. Dolphin fans have reached the point where the team has been mediocre for too long. If they are not going to be good, like AFC Championship game good, then they should probably just be really bad, and completely start over.

That means that Sparano won’t make it to coach Andrew Luck. Unfortunately, Ireland will probably be around to draft him. The Dolphins haven’t really been relevant in the last ten years. During that time, perennial also rans the Lions and Bills have gotten good, really good, to the point where they might be the two best teams in football now. For the Dolphins to have a chance at joining them someday soon, the fans need to Rage For Sage, hoping that helps them Suck For Luck! I’m all out of clichés now.

By the way, I'm going to label each of my posts "Dolphins Watch" so you can know to skip them immediately. I want to thank Neil for letting me on board here. This really is one of the finest websites on the web.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

2011 Oakland Raiders Preview: More of the Same


Hey y'all, it's been a while. I basically sat out the lockout because, frankly, I was kinda burned out of football. Also, the 2010 Raiders exceeded my expectations by finishing 8-8, and I am not good at writing about things that don't anger me. Anger is what motivates me, as it does every other man of Latino descent, and when the anger is lacking, so to is the inspiration. Well, have no fear. Geriatric shit head Al Davis is back at work doing what he does best: piss me off. An offseason of subtraction by subtraction has lead to what will no doubt be a very average Oakland Raiders team. Let us take a look at how Uncle Al set about sabotaging the team before it ever stepped onto the practice field...

1- Nnamdi Asomugha goes bye bye. OK, we all knew this was going to happen. I loved Nnamdi, but the fact that he pulled down nearly $17 million last season while producing exactly ZERO picks lightened the blow a little. Now, I understand that the other team would refuse to throw his way unless they had to and he locked down his side of the field. I get that. The fact remains that last year the Raiders had a payroll north of $150 million and still didn't make the playoffs despite running the table in their division. So, when it came time to start cutting payroll and Nnamdi's contract had a termination clause that kicked in when he didn't intercept a single pass, well, peace out homie. As if that wasn't bad enough, Al Davis decided that instead of replacing Nnamdi with a good, younger free agent corner like James Joseph, he would instead throw insane amounts of money at human tiki torch Stanford Routt. Apparently Al is working under the assumption that if you pay a player like a star that he will then in turn play like one. Stanford Routt is not a star. Never has been, and in all likelihood never will. He was better last season than he had been previously, but he was not good. He was barely passable as a nickle corner. Now he's going to be the man out on the island. And if that wasn't bad enough, he's the Raiders best corner. The other starting spot will probably be held down by a revolving door of Chris Johnson, Walter McFadden, Jeremy Ware and rookies DeMarcus VanDyke, Chimdi Chekwa and the undrafted Sterling Moore. Johnson is beyond horrible. McFadden is tiny and contributes nothing against the run, although most teams don't seem to worry about running the ball when he's on the field due to the fact that his man is usually wide open. Jeremy Ware was a late pick last year and has the makings of a decent nickle back, but probably can't be a starter. VanDyke is fast (which explains why he was drafted by the Raiders) but is meth head-level skinny and can't tackle. Chekwa is hurt and is going to be a work in progress. Believe it or not, the player with the most upside out of this group might actually be Moore. Sad, but true.

2- Robert Gallery leaves, no upgrades made on the O-Line. The Raiders offensive line was terrible last season. Jared Veldheer played every position on the line last year, and is going to be given every chance to be the starting left tackle. He follows in the footsteps of Mario Henderson, who was given every chance to be the starting left tackle, who was following in the footsteps of Robert Gallery, who was given every chance to be the starting left tackle. I'll give the departed Gallery some credit here: He was an OK guard. Of course, you don't spend the #2 overall pick on an OK guard. Now that he's gone, the starting left guard job will probably go to second round pick Stefen Wisniewski. He'll have his ups and downs, but he's a Wisniewski, damnit, and that's all that matters to Al. Samson Satele is back at center, and he's OK. The right side of the line is an absolute abortion, however. Right guard Cooper Carlisle is useless. Right tackle Khalif Barnes is doing his best Kwame Harris impression, drawing flag after flag when he's not too busy allowing sacks. 4th rounder Joesph Barksdale is supposedly going to be the starting right tackle eventually, but he's not anywhere close to being ready. Daniel Loper is the utility man, able to play all line positions equally bad. This is not a good unit, and Jason Campbell needs time to be successful. Time is one thing this crappy unit will not give him.

3- Darrius Heyward-Bey is still on the team. I don't get it. He's terrible. He can't catch a thrown football. He's not getting any better. Just admit you were wrong and cut your losses. On top of this, the "veteran receiver" that Hue Jackson talked about all offseason never materialized. Another year of Jason Campbell throwing to Jacoby Ford and a bunch of guys who probably won't hold on to the ball. Great. On the plus side, Denarius Moore looks nice, but the Arena League and CFL are full of players who made some nice plays in the preseason. I'm not sweating the Zach Miller departure because Kevin Boss is pretty much his equal in the passing game with the added bonus of actually being able to block someone.

These 3 areas more than anything will be what keeps the Raiders from making the playoffs yet again. Expect a 7-9 season and me melting down a few times. Par for the course.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

NFL ACLB PREVIEWS - #32: BUFFALO BILLS


PERTINENT DATA: 4-12 last year; 150 to 1 odds to win Super Bowl XLVI.
BEST CASE SCENARIO (Neil): Uh . . . come on now, you don’t really think there’s hope here, do you? Okay, fine, fine, let’s say everything breaks right in Buffalo for a change. Let’s say that Ryan Fitzpatrick manages to prove slightly better than competent, that Fred Jackson and C.J. Spiller manage to provide the running game with a kick-ass one-two punch, that Stevie Johnson emerges as a true number one receiver, that the offensive line manages to not get Fitzpatrick, Jackson or Spiller killed and that Shawne Merriman manages to be revived in some sort of Frankensteinian experiment, runs wild, sacks everything in sight and Kyle Williams actually gets some fucking help on defense. Let’s say all of that miraculously happens. I think at best that makes the Bills an 8-8 team. And that’s the best case scenario. The Bills fucking suck, man, and the sooner you come to terms with that, the easier it will be to help pack them up when they inevitably make the fulltime move to Toronto.
WORST CASE SCENARIO (Raven): It's really not hard to imagine the worst case scenario, because as the Bills piddle around in upstate New York, the Jets and Patriots have started their own ridiculous free agency gold rush ala Yankees/Red Sox, and basically the Bills are like the Baltimore Orioles - with like two good young players they can be like, "Hey, look at these two good young players we have! You should come root for them and watch them get pounded by everybody!" Seriously, the Bills will be lucky to win four games this year. It's going to be ugly as fuck, and the fact they wear shitty looking uniforms and play in a decrepit upper armpit of America only makes it worse. Have you noticed how when LA. is like, "We're going to get a team!" and people say, "Oh yeah, what team?" Buffalo never comes up in the conversation... That's because there's nothing sexy about this team. It would be better off to be absolved and just give Los Angeles a new franchise from scratch next year, were Ralph Wilson to die.
PLAYER TO PULL FOR (Neil): Kyle Williams was the lone Buffalo Bill to make the All-Armchair Linebacker Team, and as such, he is the one player you should all pull for. The reasons here are the same as the reasons there. He’s an awesome player on a shitty team playing in a dead city that can suck a man’s soul clean out of his body and then wipe its ass with it while snow falls, banshees howl and tears freeze in the ill wind of that frozen hell. It takes a special sort of dude to thrive in those conditions. It takes a special sort of dude to be awesome even though the whole world around him is decaying and dying. Kyle Williams was that sort of dude last season, and I’m rooting for him to continue rising above it all, for him to outlast the Failure Demons and to keep his head from sinking beneath the frozen muck of Buffalo. I’m rooting for him because I have seen what losing does to a man. I have seen what a crushed soul looks like and it sucks. I have seen my city’s greatest football hero drown in a river of tears and I have seen what it looks like when Hope dies, frozen like a bum huddled inside of an abandoned building with no windows and only the ghosts of some former half-forgotten glory to keep him company. I know that shit. I know it too well, and I know that those same ghosts are whispering awful things in Kyle Williams’ ears and I want him to continue to ignore them and to fight, fight, fight until somehow, someway, he has beaten his own monstrous and miserable fate. It’s not even about him. It’s about all of us who have found ourselves trapped by the Failure Demons, who have had our football souls tortured in hell for so damn long that we barely even remember what being happy as fans feels like. It’s about one of our own breaking free and . . . and . . . just surviving, man. Just surviving. Root for Kyle Williams because he has managed to survive so far. Root for Kyle Williams because he defies those same hell beasts who have hunted so many of us for so long. Root for Kyle Williams because Kyle Williams is a warrior of light in a dark and forgotten ice kingdom. Root for Kyle Williams because he is you and he is me and he is everyone who has ever tried to rise above the pain that comes with being a part of or being a fan of some shitbird team.
PLAYER TO HATE MOST (Raven): Shawne Merriman is a black dude with a fauxhawk kinda thing going on and he used to be romantically involved in a serious sense with Tila Tequila. That's a nebulous netherworld of underclass humans, like juggalos, except even juggalos had the common sense but black hearts to pelt someone like Tila Tequila with bottles and shit. Merriman belongs to an even scummier world of like wealthy juggalo-types, who did not come by their strange scumminess as the last badge of honor they could find from a shithole, hopelessly hopeless rural midwestern upbringing. These Merrimans and Tequilas and Lil Jons and Jersey troll people and Will.I.Ams are scummy in a strange pretend fashionable way, not because they are scraping to find anything to be proud of, but because they lack souls. Shawne Merriman has no soul, and whatever little bit of it there was he diluted with human growth hormones and whatever god awful shit is the next level of performance enhancement, because if they're going to be testing for HGH, that means players are on some next level Brave New World bullshit where they have alien/pig hybrid blood cultivated on the space station because gravity-less fluids attain maximum regeneration rates or some Dr. Mengele in the year 3000 bullshit like that.
BEST NAME ON TEAM: Mansfield Wrotto.
IN A PERFECT WORLD (Neil): Shit, in a perfect world, Buffalo would be walled off and ignored while its people were forced into cannibalism and then a giant dome could be built over top of its ruins as a monument to the death of the American dream. We could even make it a giant public works project. Poor people and Mexicans could build the damn thing during the day and then get all fucked up at night and light giant bonfires and dance around the ruins of Buffalo, and screw each other stupid and fight and laugh and cry. Meanwhile, the Buffalo Bills could finally find some sort of hope in the welcoming arms of Canada. Exiled to Toronto, they could try to forget the misery of the past and reinvent themselves as the team of a whole nation. Sure, it’s a nation full of weird Geddy Lee enthusiasts who worship an old lady from England and freeze their dead in ice coffins awaiting a magical day foretold by their holy men when the ice will finally melt and the reanimated souls of the dead will emerge and conquer the world in Canada’s ungodly name, but it sure beats the fuck out of having to live and play in Buffalo, you know?
PROGNOSIS (Raven): The Bills will finish up 2-14, and win the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, which will be unfortunate for Andrew Luck, because it's still going to be Buffalo. Really, ever since the O.J. thing cashed out all of Buffalo's franchise juice, they've been hard-pressed to gain any psychic momentum. They should just go back to the throwbacks all the time, have everybody on the team wear #32, and play all their games in Toronto, and be like, "Fuck America, you fat lazy racist fucks. We now only serve imam-approved foods at our games," and just go straight buckwild. Ralph Wilson is an old white guy though, and in fact most NFL owners are either old white guys or white guys who will afford the health care to get old, so it kind of keeps cool shit like this happening because they won't ever approve selling the Bills to like Bumpy Johnson or Frank Lucas or something. We truly are an uptight country, aren't we? At least the Bills went ahead and got themselves some gay ass Canadian Football League uniforms this year, which somehow look futuristically retro, in order to hopefully start this plan in motion.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Reality Sets In


So when we last left off, I had asked my homeboy Will what he thought the Redskins were going to go. And he emailed me back saying like 7-9 or 8-8, but it happened at like the exact same time I saw the Vegas odds come out for this season. My weird dorkshit mathematical formula for ranking the NFL teams all year long (which I hope to continue here at Armchair Linebacker this year, if I remember) basically starts by following the Vegas odds, because I'm pretty sure the NFL is fixed like 1982 WWF was, very discreetly but well done to keep us happy as fans, and I figure if anybody knows what's up, it's Vegas people, because they are all sketchy Jewish dudes with big glasses or weird Italians with mathematics wizards who dropped out of Harvard on retainer. Or something like that.
Well I don't remember the specifics, but I know the Redskins were the fourth worst expected team according to shady Vegas, with only the Bengals, Panthers, and Bills to be expected to be worst. So reality sort of set in kinda harshly, because I also realized the Quarterback Battle I was privy to as a Redskins fan was between the Mormon MacGruber John Beck and the Failed Sex Cannon Rex Grossman, with a possible run-in by the Third Guy Kellen Clemens, who I think is some sort of haphazard biological experiment conducted in Oregon to combine the genetics of Kellen Winslow Sr. with Roger Clemens in the hopes of creating a super QB of the future. Instead, they just created the Third Guy, because genetic engineering is not as simple as creating the hybrid, since it still has to grow up and be polluted by experiences and all that. So thus Kellen Clemens, while working with massive genetic advantages of the physical variety, is kind of a dumbass so makes not-so-great choices, which is not a good look for a Field General of the Football variety.
So yeah, the Redskins are considered the fourth worst team going into the season by Vegas, which made me think to myself how usually me and my homeboy Will, as lifelong Redskins fans who even though we know the Kool-Aid is sour and we refuse to drink it, I guess we get tainted off the fumes. Perhaps the Kool-Aid is actually nitrous oxide. I don't know. But I realized that we have consistently over the years over-estimated the Redskins winnability by 4 to 5 games. This means that if we both were thinking 7-9, the reality is probably 3-13 if they get some lucky breaks. Three and fucking Thirteen.
So then I thought, "Well maybe Mike Trannyhan is actually the football genius he would have you believe, and he's playing his cards for the long hand, planning on revamping the defense into a monster this year, get some skill players in position on offense who can fill roles, and then win the Andrew Luck sweepstakes for next year, and hope the kid from Stanford is the real deal." Let's not forget that Shannerhan's only success in the NFL came with a much-hyped Stanford QB under center in John Elway, who himself was a genetic experiment gone wrong where a Dutch lady got pregnant by a horse after a biological research scientist saw the donkey shows in Tijuana.
Well, the Redskins schedule, for a shitty team, does not bode well. This does not mean that they have a tough schedule, because they don't really. I mean all six NFC East games will be tough, though I have a feeling the Cowboys are on implosion mode and our games with them will be a battle of reverse momentums, where one team will just end up sucking a little more than the other. Arizona comes here in week 2, and a new QB without much time to learn that offense might give us a chance to win one there. And Minnesota comes here late in the season, which means Donovan McNabb will long have been broken and replaced by Christian Ponder, which could might mean a win. We also get San Francisco at home in the middle of the year which could honestly go either way. Maybe Harbaugh has those boys in shape by then, or maybe they are still the 49ers. They have the weapons.
We get to go to Miami in November, which is a winnable game, because they should suck. But the real test will be the last two weeks of October, when we have back-to-back road games at Carolina and then Buffalo, two of the only three teams considered to have a shittier potential than my damned Redskins. Really, those games will be the true test of whether this team is going to win the Andrew Luck sweepstakes for real, or will they get it together and run a couple wins. And the fact the 49ers home game and Dolphins road trip are the two weeks after these two lowly games means, if things break just right, the Skins could go on a roll, for really the only time this season, and maybe eke out a win against Dallas, and go 5-11, thus blowing next year's plan completely, which makes the most sense, because even when it comes to sucking, this team just can't quite do it in the best way possible.
That being said, I am hoping what looks to possibly be a terrorizing defense hits full-stride and is all carnivorous on motherfuckers, and then what looks to be a shitty offense is as shitty as expected, maybe even worse, and our defense can hold teams to 3 points on offense but still lose by 17 points because Rex Grossman is our QB, not to mention the fact the Skins went out and picked up Tim Hightower (who I love) who could be great but is well-known for his fumbling abilities. I don't necessarily trust a fumbling RB to turn his fumbling ways around when Rex Grossman is slopping the ball at him in the backfield.
Oh well, so with corrected reality, I figure the Skins, even being as shitty as they are, will still finish 3-13, and probably get the third draft pick in next year's draft. Yay football!