Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Every Kid Hates Hochuli

I think just about every fan has had a moment when it became obvious that they would forever hate one particular referee, umpire, official, team scorer, guy-who-holds-the-orange-arrow-thing, etc., and I have thought more about Ed Hochuli in the last two days than anyone should ever.

When he isn't botching an obvious but crucial call in an important game between two of the best teams in the AFC, Ed Hochuli is a lawyer and workout enthusiast. He is clearly a man with a passion for adjudication, and also for gym sweat.

I'm sure that he has blown his fair share of calls over the years — and which ref hasn't — but he has a strong reputation as a fair and honest guy, and one who takes great pains to explain his decisions in great detail. You might not understand the nuances of some obscure NFL rule, but he will at the very least let you know that a rule is being followed, and may even hint at its rationale.

This is precisely what Ed Hochuli did soon after he made one of the biggest ref boners of all time ... he carefully explained that his original call was wrong, but there was nothing he could do to fix it. And earlier in the game, when Invesco's replay system malfunction cost the Chargers the opportunity to replay a suspect turnover call, Hochuli followed the rules to the letter, and carefully explained what had happened: God himself had decided to fuck the Chargers painfully and with some malice, and there wasn't really much that could be done about it.

So I don't really hate Ed Hochuli, and I guess that separates me from the scores of Chargers fans who have sent hate mail to Hochuli's law firm, or those who screech in the Union-Tribune forums. I admire Ed Hochuli for admitting that he was wrong (though I would like to suggest a good LASIK guy).

I also don't think that the answer to this scenario is to change the rule at hand. I've seen it applied with some variation a number of times, and it almost always is fair and useful. If the whistle has already blown, that means that the play is dead, and that signals that the play is over, and that tells the folks on the field that they can stop playing football for a few moments. Who knows what events might have occurred if the whistle hadn't tooted, and the players had continued to play on?

That wasn't the case here, though. Chargers linebacker Tim Dobbins was the only guy in the area, and he fell on the ball cleanly, and possessed the ball immediately. This would have happened either way, as Dobbins reacted as if no whistle had been blown. And clearly, if there happened to be a rule in place allowing Hochuli to give the ball to Dobbins, he would have done so. As soon as he watched the replay, he knew that he blew the call.

So I have a suggestion for the rule committee. It's a new rule that I think will revolutionize sports forever, and even make them a little more fun to watch. Here it is:
  1. If a referee knows that a call is unjust, even if the rules have been applied correctly, the referee may use his (or her) power to rule in whatever manner he (or she) thinks is most fair.
  2. If it is later determined that the referee was incorrect, he (or she) is immediately dismissed from his (or her) position, and may not serve in that position until the next season.
Let's call this rule the Greater Good rule, at least until someone comes up with a good title that somehow ties into those wrestling matches wherein the loser is barred from wrestling ever again. A strong punitive element eliminates most of the possibility for impropriety, and it is bound to be great fodder for blogs, talking heads, and so forth. "Why didn't the ref opt to enact the Greater Good rule? Does he lack the courage of his convictions?", Deion Sanders might say.

Beyond that, every time an official chooses to use this rule, it is bound to be very interesting, and courageous even if applied incorrectly. I believe that if the Greater Good rule existed today, we'd be calling Ed Hochuli a hero, a model for referees everywhere. Here is a guy who risked his avocation simply to get it right. It's enough to make a guy tear up a little bit.



But I digress. Let me talk for a few moments in closing about my beloved San Diego Chargers. Did you know that they have both an offensive unit AND a defensive unit? You'd never know after the first two games of this season. I don't think they had a pass rush at any time during the Broncos game, and based on the recap I read of the Carolina game, it doesn't seem like they scared the Steve Smith-less Carolina Panthers much either. Normally you'd have to question Mike Shanahan's sanity for going for the two-point conversion instead of tying the game up and heading to overtime, but not this time.

And while it would have been nice to win this game, I don't think it would've been much fun to win because Jay Cutler lost the grip on a slick new ball after absolutely torching the Chargers all day. Shanahan gave the Chargers a chance to stop them, and the Chargers couldn't. It was the last play of Chargers v. Steelers in the 1995 AFC Championship all over again, but Dennis Gibson was nowhere to be found. The only surprise was that Brandon Marshall wasn't the guy on the receiving end.

And let's also not forget that if Chris Chambers had managed to scrape his second foot in bounds, Nate Kaeding would've had a chance to win the game with a kick at the edge of his range, even after Dick Enberg informed us all that the game was "over."

I hope I can look back on this game as a blip in a crazy season that resulted in another Chargers playoff berth ... that its only impact was on seeding, and didn't result in calamity and riots. I hope that sometime in the future, maybe Ed Hochuli and I can look back on this game and just sigh a little at the one that got away. We'll see.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

He might have one of the biggest ref boners, but he also has some of the smallest ref balls. Because of the steroids. AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT? I'm right.

(I feel like since me and Tosh are both representing the birds, we have to act like each other occasionally so it's not obvious we're coming from two different perspectives. So I'll use all caps and rhetoric questions, and Tosh will use complete sentences.)

Anonymous said...

(I'll also incorrectly conjugate the word rhetoric, even after I deleted my first comment because I fucked up the format, if conjugation even holds water on non-verbs, which I'm not sure of.)