(As always, thanks to Gizoogle.net for breaking this down for the common man.)
Someone has ta tell Americaz glock nuts ta quit
wettin they Army surplus baggy-ass pants bout losin tha Second
Amendment. It aint nuthin but not yo' Second Amendment muthafuckin
rights dat is under attack; itz all tha other ones.
It used ta be dat law enforcement couldn't search you without
probable cause yo, but now we're becomin a quasi-five-o state where one
minute yo ass is home on tha fuckin' down-lowly readin 50 Shadez of Gay, n' suddenly therez a SWAT crew up in yo' livin room wavin guns. And yo ass is going, "Fuck dat shit, no, Katt Williams lives next door!"
Now, last month, while no one was takin every muthafucka's
glocks from anybody, tha Senate voted overwhelmingly ta reauthorize a
program where they can collect data on any American playa hater n' hold
onto it forever. They can peep yo' e-mails, yo' texts, yo' Skypes, n'
not a peep up tha crowd thatz always biiiatchin bout what tha fuck tha
framers intended. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! In fact, tha answer
from almost everyone seems ta be, "Oh what tha fuck tha hell, tha
airport screeners have already peeped mah ass anyway."
Da Facebizzle generation, especially, don't seem ta care dat Big
Brutha knows everythang bout you �" what tha fuck books you read, what
tha fuck pornos you watch, yo' Match.com account, yo' other
Match.com account when yo ass is feelin a lil freaky n' wanna hook up
tha sort of biatch yo' regular Match.com account wouldn't approve of.
Call mah crazy ass oldschool school yo, but I don't want tha fedz
Googlin what tha fuck I be Googling. It aint nuthin but bad enough when
Netflix pries tha fuck into mah private life. "Yo ass watched Da Walkin Dead n' Zombieland. Yo ass might also like dis rap battle wit Jizzy McCain."
I don't want tha posse bustin that, muthafucka! "Yo ass downlizzleed
dis article favorin tha legalization of da sticky-icky-icky. Yo ass
might also like bein incarcerated."
Yo ass know, they always say these programs is just ta catch
terrorists. Da next muthafuckin thang you know, they be rockin em ta
shut down tha pot dispensaries. And dat place was muthafuckin right on
mah way home, muthafucka! Now I gotta go ta Valley Village!
Doesn't every last muthafuckin muthafucka care dat dis is tha freshly
smoked up normal, biatch? I guess not, cuz glock nuts couldn't give a
fuckin shit, n' neither do liberals. When Bush did warrantless
wiretapping, oh, he was wipin his thugged-out ass wit tha Constipation. I
aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But when Obizzay do it, oh
well, whatever helps Jizzica Chastain find bin Laden, we're phat wit
(smatterin of crew applause)
Yeah, both partizzles compete mightily ta step tha fuck up ta be tha
pimped outer champion of our freedoms yo, but tha only muthafuckin thang
dat still has bipartisan support up in Washington aint givin a shizzle
And when you rap ta tha NRA types, as I like ta do down at mah local
moose lodge, they muthafuckin believe dat what tha fuck protects they
muthafuckin rights aint laws, and courts, itz dat they gots a gun. I
aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They be thinkin thatz what
tha fuck keeps tha posse from goin too far. Without guns, Obizzay would
become a emperor n' force everyone ta gay marry yo, but he can't cuz a
playa up in Kentucky named Skeeter has a .22.
Except that, you know, while you pimps was buyin glocks ta protect
yo' other guns, sittin' up on tha porch there, waitin' fo' Obizzayz
Negro Army ta come confiscate yo' weapons n' go all Django Unchained
on yo' ass �" thatz when our crazy-ass asses lost all tha shiznit up in
tha Bizzle of Rights, bout trials n' juries n' warrants.
Yo ass see, tha Redcoats �" they never wanted yo' gun. I aint talkin'
bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They wanted yo' liberty. And thatz why
tha Foundin Fathers holla'd you could have tha gun, dumbass, muthafucka!
And now tha only muthafuckin right our crazy-ass asses have left is
tha guns, n' left not a god damn thang left ta bust tha glocks ta
protect, muthafucka! We're like a strip club wit a mazillion bouncers
n' no strippers!