Tuesday, April 24, 2012

RGIII Redskins watch

On one hand, the dude had a weirdly shaped larger-than-life sculpture of himself built out of chicken. And on the other, apparently as a kid he was prophesied as some sort of saviour by some sort of preacher. Now granted most of my knowledge of the Bible is pretty much based on watching The Ten Commandments while stoned, I think the making of false idyls out of chicken is wrong in the eyes of your fake Christian God. So ultimately, what everything is leading me to believe, including my own rants and dissertations from earlier this week, is that perhaps Robert Griffin III is some sort of saviour, perhaps of the Redskins perhaps of all of mankind, but he has to navigate the prearious traps of Dan Snyder's devilry (insert that funny Dan Snyder with devil horns picture here, in your head... I'd do it, but he'd sue ACLB for anti-semitism, because Dan Snyder's a fucking dumbass devil). Perhaps I've been drinking too much poppy tincture this week, but this is starting to shape up as larger than football. Perhaps the salvation of Washington DC itself, and potentially ultimately America, is involved here. And where do we put Barack Obama? His false claims of change that have not been realized, but will surely be hyped again as the drums of alternativity are beaten across the political landscape, by all the status quo Rs and Ds big money can find stump the people. Will he be outed as a black devil, a wolf in sheep's clothing, perhaps even by Robert Griffin III himself? Could Robert Griffin III be the accomplice in salvation that Tim Tebow needs, to make Holiness cool, in Superman socks? I do not know, but I have been keeping precise notations in a composition book, and some disturbing patterns are emerging. I had initially gotten myself worked up about the Redskins maybe being good again, but now I am starting to wonder how the quest to breed a flawless red heifer in Alabama is coming, and whether the rebuilding of the Temple of the Mount is on the horizon. I wonder how Arab Spring plays into this, and how the sides will line up. I am hopeful that RGIII is able to take those lined sides and bring them together, for the sake of the Redskins, for the sake of professional football, for the sake of America, and ultimately for the sake of the fate of humanity on planet Earth.

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