Sunday, November 20, 2011

Redskins Metasciences

Didn't see much of the game at all. Been having panic attacks since Friday due to a hostile work situation, that's got me in a flutter. Planned to do some light fencing work this morning, clean out the chicken coop, and watch the game. But stupid fucking digital tv signal wasn't picking up, so I busted out the ladder and tried to jiggle and fix every part, and we were almost there when our new pigs got out. So me and the ol' lady wrangled them not once but three times. Second time, I actually caught one in the fence line, grabbed his hind legs and dragged him to the pen. The other one followed willingly, either because they roll together or he saw what was up and I wasn't playing. Last time, the pink one was close enough so I grabbed it's ears, yelled at my wife to get it's leg. The pig is squealing, trying to drag me backwards, but I'm also holding it's ears so it doesn't bite me, wife is screaming because the whole thing freaks her out, we're doing the whole thing along the open posts of a tipi (no shit) where the canvas has been shredded by weather, finally the wife gets a leg, I let go of one ear to get the leg and then drag the fucker back again, his ear all red from the iron grip of Raven.
So I take an anxiety medicine and go back in to see the game is 24-17 Cowboys but Redskins are driving end of game. I'm like wow. But TV signal is still flickering in and out. Then there's more pig issues again apparently. (Oddly enough I was cooking a ham from our previous pigs the whole day long. Maybe that got to them in the wind.) I went out, proceeded to black out in some mud, wife told me to go lay down on the couch, she's got it, so I do where I get to fade in and out see a Graham Gano missed field goal, DeAngelo Hall slip on coverage to allow the Cowboys to get down field long enough, and then the Cowboys win. Game over. We ate ham, the pigs never went back in the last time but they were out there just now in their pen so I was already in my jammies and I went to take a shit and my wife went out excited to patch the hole in the fence, except I heard a weird animal scream then some metal clanging then heard my wife and dog running back to the house. "What's up?" Apparently some weird cat creature snarled and then she shined a light in that way and it came at her so they took off. Me and the dog went back out to that area, I sent the dog first, no animals but a little broom from my kid's playhouse was tore up in Blair Witch Fashion and there was a strange air to the night. And somehow this all makes perfect sense to the Redskins.
We just checked the sound online and it was a red fox scream. A motherfucking fox all flaunting up into my yard, male fox apparently, marking his territory around my ol' lady. Just like all those Cowboys fans in FedEx Field today. Fuckin bullshit man. This whole world is fucking bullshit.

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