Corporate NFL = Retarded

(I am no scientist but I can assure you there is a vagina near that tattoo somewhere)

So apparently some hot bitch was a reporter in the Giants locker room and Penthouse letters popped up in everybody's heads, so it - in the age of the internet - has become one of those non-issue issues that pop up and fizzle out in three days time. My main man Mr. 1000 Characters Clinton Portis now has a radio interview spot on D.C. sports talk radio shit, and had this to say about the hot bitch reporter in the locker room thing:

"You know man, I think you put women reporters in the locker room in positions to see guys walking around naked, and you sit in the locker room with 53 guys, and all of the sudden you see a nice woman in the locker room, I think men are gonna tend to turn and look and want to say something to that woman. For the woman, I think they make it so much that you can't interact and you can't be involved with athletes, you can't talk to these guys, you can't interact with these guys."

"And I mean,you put a woman and you give her a choice of 53 athletes, somebody got to be appealing to her. You know, somebody got to spark her interest, or she's gonna want somebody. I don't know what kind of woman won't, if you get to go and look at 53 men's packages. And you're just sitting here, saying 'Oh, none of this is attractive to me.' I know you're doing a job, but at the same time, the same way I'm gonna cut my eye if I see somebody worth talking to, I'm sure they do the same thing."

The NFL immediately responded with a PR statement saying his opinions do not represent the league and have no place in the NFL. "The comments are clearly inappropriate, offensive, and have no place in the NFL," is the exact words of NFL mouthpiece Greg Aiello.
Seriously, what the fuck? Is this what corporate NFL has come to? I mean, it's a billion dollar industry built on dudes butting heads and shortening their lifespan. Let's not act all high and mighty here. But beyond that, how is the above offensive at all? Find me a man alive who if he were in a room with 53 naked women would not find at least one attractive? Same goes for women, just probably not as animalistic as men (they are natural nurturers, we are natural fuckers). It's simple human sexuality. This is the crap that pisses me off about the modern world, that you are supposed to suppress your internal molecular reality and pretend you are somehow some God-like magical creature with complete control over your every emotion and desire. Really, all this is is science continuing with the dominion over the earth thing religion started. We may not be God-ordained special, but still, scientifically we are somehow superior to everything else and a beautiful woman can walk amongst 53 physically impressive naked men, and the very sexuality that has allowed us to even exist on this planet for all this time to get to a point where we have giant building where thousands of people pay highly valued pieces of paper or plastic (that is not supported by any gold or jeweled wealth or any tangible object, I should mention) to sit amongst each other and watch collections of well-trained men focused on one solitary game with a thick stack of odd rules and regulations. Without people wanting to fuck, which we all do (or if not, oh well, survival of the fittest), we would not have any of this.
And to pretend like what he said is the equivalent of saying, "Yeah, I think stabbing babies is an okay thing if that's how you were raised," or "I don't know, crack shouldn't be illegal in the NFL because it doesn't really hurt anybody except the user," it's ridiculous. Fuck you NFL. We are elevated animals, each and every one of us, and we all want to fuck, and if we don't it's because your goddamned HAARP beam has put too many Peyton Manning commercials directly inside our brains and we are confused on a molecular level.
Props to Clinton Portis for saying what he thought, what many people think, and I'm sad to see he was corporate bullied into apologizing yet again for speaking natural free-flowing thoughts. In the modern NFL world of commercial interests and brand positioning and image marketing, he is a bonafide living, breathing Man. God bless that wacky motherfucker.