Monday, November 9, 2009

Fuck You Parcells! Fuck You Porter! Eat A Dick, Wildcat Formation! You're Cool...

The Patriots came into this week's game with a daunting task ahead of them. They had to continue their winning streak against their hated rivals the Miami Dolphins who always seem to get up for them. I can't tell you how many Patriots winning streaks have come to an end at the hands of the Fins over the years...even when they sucked. Now Joey Porter was poppin' all kinds of shit like an old school WWF wrestler that snatched the mic from Mean Gene Okerlund in one of the bumpers during the telecast. The Patriots struggled early and couldn't manage to pull away (Brady even threw a goddamn interception) after the game got tied 10-10. Two field goals later the Patriots were up 16-10. Guess what happened next?

The Miami Dolphins pulled off a 17 play 10 minute drive that ended with Ronnie Brown throwing a touchdown from the goal line to take a 17-16 lead. The Dolphins just knew they had the Patriots number. Then Tom Brady and Randy Moss decided to crush their dreams by completing a 71 yard touchdown strike featuring a stiffarm usually reserved for homeless panhandlers in Wal Mart parking lots. Then Tom Brady poured even more salt in the wound by completing a 2 point conversion to Randy Moss (you'd figured they'd finally guard that guy?). Thanks to the triumvirate of Tom Brady, Randy Moss & Steve Gostkowski the Patriots would pull out to a 24-17 lead and eventually put the game away for good at the end of the 4th quarter to win 27-17 in The Razor to improve to 6-2 on the season and give the Dolphins their first divisional loss.

The Wildcat did give the Patriots defense some minor annoyances and they were on the field way too much for my taste as the Patriots barely lost the time of possession battle 29 minutes to 31. Tom Brady went 25-37 for 332 yards 1 TD 1 INT. He broke Drew Bledsoe's old franchise record for most career 300 yard games in a Patriots uniform (27). Randy Moss caught 6 balls for 147 yards and 1 TD while Wes Welker kept the chains moving with 9 receptions for 84 yards. The Patriots had managed to survive the first of 4 huge games, 3 of which were against bitter rivals and divisional or conference foes. Vince Wilfork had shoved a knife up the Wildcat's ass.

Joey Porter, who had talked a gang of shit about the Patriots and what he and the Dolphins were gonna do finished the game with no tackles, no sacks, no batted passes..NADA! He doesn't even show up on the box score! He also disappeared after the game was over so he wasn't even available to the press! That is a bitch move. So fuck Bill Parcells, fuck Joey Porter, fuck the Miami Dolphins AND the Wildcat formation! Next week the Patriots face the first leg of the Trilogy Of Terror, the undefeated Indianapolis Colts, a game against the hated New York Jets then a Monday Night Football matchup against the undefeated New Orleans Saints. If the Patriots can make it through this stretch and only drop one game they can't be denied a playoff spot. Sorry to fuck up the vibe of this site by always having good news to report. The Patriots'll lose soon...I promise!


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