Saturday, February 28, 2009

Thanks Jerry!

Good bye Jon Kitna, you looked like a cancer patient, you threw a lot of interceptions and in your final year you accepted your fate with class and dignity. Oh wait, that's right, no you didn't. You bitched and you moaned, and you basically accused the Lions of being a bunch of weaselly lying motherfuckers, which, okay, fair enough, but damn, your refusal to even make an attempt at civility was just one more ridiculous flaming bag of shit hurled around Ford Field in the Year that God Forgot. We will bury you with your Bible. Godspeed, and thanks for the memories, like the time you threw a pick six to Charles Woodson and just said fuck it and walked off the field, or the time you were sacked and fumbled, or the other time you were sacked and fumbled, or the other time . . . yeah, anyway, let's also not forget your sterling leadership during the darkest hours in Lions franchise history, when you came down to the Lions practice facilities and helped out any way you could, even though you were on IR. Remember that? Wait, you mean that never happened? Well, okay then. Good luck and God bless.

Also, a special shout out to Jerry Jones, who decided to trade for Kitna even though he was going to be released within the next couple of days so the Lions wouldn't have to pay him his roster bonus. Good doing business with you again Jerry. Please, for the love of God, anytime you get the urge to do a deal, give us a call.

4 comments:

The Baron said...

Between this and the Roy Williams trade, you have to wonder if this is the beginning of a bizarre plot for Jerry Jones to ditch the Cowboys and start owning the Lions.

Neil said...

I know. I am waiting for Martin Mayhew to call him up and offer him the rights to Mike Utley's wheelchair and Charlie Batch. I bet we could get a second round pick out of him.

Ty Schalter said...

I keep wondering what Mayhew says when he calls Jones. "Hey Jerry, I have a few more disgruntled players on my winless team here that I was going to let walk. You got any more first-day draft picks or veteran starters you feel like parting with?

Peace
Ty

Neil said...

I had some lame joke here about Mayhew having pictures of Jones, like everyone used to joke about Millen having pictures of the Fords, but the thing is that Jones is so shameless he probably wouldn't care. So, I don't know.