Monday, September 29, 2008

Bernanke Bails out Browns, Says Country can "Go to Hell"

In a stunning reversal of government policy Fed chairman Ben Bernanake decided on Sunday to bailout the struggling Cleveland Browns. "As go the Browns go so goes the NFL. The NFL is too big to fail" said the Reserve head.

Relying on Harvard educated Ryan Fitzpatrick to come up with a winning bailout strategy was just what the doctor ordered according to the Fed chief.

"We needed to inject liquidity into the Browns offense while at the same time allowing their defense to recoup some gains allowed after a tough 1st quarter of the season."

Ok ok sorry about the lame Onion ripoff but still a wins a win and I will take it.

The bye week will see the Browns return Donte Stallworth, Joe Jurevicius, Willie McGinest, Ryan Tucker and Sean Jones back into action. Hopefully all will be in uniform to partcipate in the loss to the Giants. We are in this crisis together.

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