Friday, August 17, 2012
GET WELL SOON TRUCK NEILD
Some sad news out of Redskins training camp this week as second-year dude and fan favorite (meaning me) Chris "Truck" Neild tore up his ACL and is out for the year. Neild made a strong impression in last year's opening game, fucking shit up severely against the Giants, crushing Eli Manning into a pit viper-like insaniac slam, one-and-a-half times. Then he was an awesome back-up DT for the rest of the year. This year I had expected him to transcend mere mortality and float in cloud of purple smoke past opposing offensive lines and destroy QBs, literally removing Tony Romo's ribs in a deft tackle move he learned in the wild and wonderful yet black magical mountains of West Virginia.
Of course, being Truck Neild, he wasn't phased by his ACL. He never fell, kept practicing, asked Jarvis Jenkins - who tore his own ACL last year - what it felt like, because he had a pop in his leg and wanted to know if it could've been his ACL. Most dudes fall like they were shot by Jack Ruby; Truck Neild just rolled around non-chalantly until the oppressive mechanisms of modern science confirmed a torn ACL and put holmes on the shelf for the season.
Get well soon, Truck Neild. It is not yet time for Valhalla. You still have work to do for the Gods of the Vikings (the people, not the crappy team) upon this Earth.