Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Redskins, the NFC Championship, and Cam Newton

So the Redskins fandom talking point this week is incessant pointing out of the fact that the Redskins beat both the Packers and Bears this season. The Packers was probably the best 60-plus minutes the Redskins put together all year long, especially considering it was at FedEx where they usually play worse, most likely in defense of my sister's honor; and the Bears game was the one where Jay Cutler enabled DeAngelo Hall to trick himself into thinking he was still an awesome shut-down corner gamebreaker type for another two years. And Skins fans, including play-by-play homer Larry Michaels, are all like, “Hey, we’re making good progress if we beat both the teams that are in the NFC championship.”
Allow me to break it down very simply: beating teams that are in the playoffs means nothing compared to beating teams in the playoffs. Until that starts happening, simply happening, and then perhaps upgrading towards it happening with some regularity, this team has made no progress, in over a decade. So if you are looking for a silver lining to this shit sandwich we got served up, stop fucking around. It’s thinking like that that lays the groundwork for Dan Snyder to parade out some Savior of the Year again come April, and they’ll act like everything’s solved.
Allow me to also speak upon speculation the Redskins will snatch up Cam Newton, who will conveniently fall to them at the #10 pick in the upcoming draft, at least according to Mel Kiper's most whateverest mock draft. (Is there a more useless thing on this earth than mock drafts?) You know another very athletic QB from Auburn who fell to the Redskins in the first round a few years back? Jason Campbell. I do not pretend that Jason Campbell is as good as Cam Newton, but I also do not pretend that Cam Newton would be any better than Jason Campbell.
So yeah, in closing, most likely Cam Newton will be our back-up QB, Dan Snyder will have a press parade about how humbled he is by his experiences as owner, how this is the fan’s team, Mike Shanahan will talk about what they’ve learned from one year on the job him and his staff, and how they see some things taking good shape, parking will still be expensive as fuck at FedEx Field, and they will start the hype machine for 2011’s surely successful effort, where everything will be different, yet again. It's always different, but then it always ends up about the same.

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