Redskins 2-2 Positives/Negatives Metasciences Week Four Recap

The Redskins won the big showdown against the Eagles, though it is disheartening they stood pat with their first half point production, and sort of rode out the second half clock. This team, if it ever wants to be better than just above very average needs to learn how to fucking give the kill shot. I do not remember a kill shot from this team since Sean Taylor died. I feel good enough to move up to a 4-positves/3-negatives, but not beyond that. Oddly enough, we are in first place in the NFC East, and have wins over the Cowboys and Eagles. Man, the NFC East sucks this year, hunh?
FOURTH DEGREE POSITIVE: RB Ryan Torain. Again, I love Clinton Portis. He is the one highlight from Snyder Era thus far, although most of the highlight reel is wacky off-field shenanigans involving oddball costumes. Still though, it was nice to see, you know, a guy who has played less than 7 years in the NFL running the ball. And after Portis’s dive last week to avoid fumbling the ball if you give him the benefit of the doubt or straight up just dropping early if you go with your eyeballs, that TD run where Torain plowed right through a motherfucker in an Eagles jersey to get to the end zone, that shit made me think, “Yes, we are finally playing some football.”
THIRD DEGREE POSITIVE: LB Lorenzo Alexander. The Scrapper took over the starting OLB spot opposite Brian Orakpo from Andre Carter (who played a bit more DE today, which makes such fucking perfect sense, it was odd it took them this long to do), and was in on some huge hits on both special teams and defense. The sports story of the moment is that white dude from Stanford who plays fullback and LB, and that’s great, tis true. But Lorenzo Alexander has taken that blue collar do whatever is asked attitude to the NFL, and man, dude is a solid ass player. He won’t ever be a superstar, but if you could fill out the gaps between the few superstars you find as an NFL team with a slew of dudes like Lorenzo Alexander, you’d be doing pretty good for yourself.
SECOND DEGREE POSITIVE: S Kareem Moore. With Moore no longer injured and actually able to start, and constantly being in the middle of plays, this is the best safety combo the Redskins have had since Sean Taylor died. And honestly, at that point, and from what we see nowadays, Laron Landry was basically another Sean Taylor, so that may not have developed into a perfect pair. Kareem Moore is good, but also a great complement to Laron Landry, who is always lurking around waiting to concuss somebody. Now, if only we could find a quality CB without the top 10 draft pick ego gloss all over him.
FIRST DEGREE POSITIVE: LB London Fletcher. Field general, and I feel calm just seeing him out there, pointing the young bucks in the right direction and politicking the refs.
STAY MEDIUM DEGREE: QB Donovan McNabb. McNabb did well at times, and threw some very Philadelphia fan stereotypical complaints against McNabb-style barely overthrows that would’ve been six points a couple of times as well. The problem with McNabb that I am finally seeing firsthand is he is good, and better than most starting QBs in the NFL, but something is just not connecting that will get him to be The QB in the NFL. But if you are the Washington Redskins, you cannot complain about having a top 10 in the league QB on your rosters just because he is not a The QB in the NFL type guy. Our recent tradition is mostly retreads and draft busts.
FIRST DEGREE NEGATIVE: WR Santana Moss. So after last week’s loss to the Rams, the Skins players generally came with the same “don’t understand why we lost, we are a far better team than them” excuses, nobody taking responsibility, nobody admitting the obvious, that the Redskins are only a couple games better than the Rams last year, and had lost their past two to them, both of which were “should’ve” won games. That’s the thing – there is nothing on this team that really says it should be better than anybody else other than Dan Snyder wasting money on people. This team has earned no real stripes in the past decade, and has accomplished very little. What, we won one wild card playoff game a few years back under Gibbs? That’s it. Why this team would even begin to think it is better than anything else out there is beyond me. I throw Santana Moss in as the team representative of this philosophy because he celebrates every catch he makes as if it won the wild card. And he is usually one of the first ones to say that they didn’t lose a game to someone else so much as they gave it away. This is a flawed thinking, a tumor that permeates the Redskins team psychology that is close to malignant and really needs to be snipped out, stat.
SECOND DEGREE NEGATIVE: DT Albert Haynesworth. He is pretty much still a non-factor except for in interviews. Usually if they show him on the field, you can count on him being standing on the edges of relevance to the play. For a guy who considers himself a dominant player, he is not very dominant, at all. I do not have the stats in front of me, nor do I care to be the type of Serious Bizness Football Blogger that looks it up, but I would guess he has less than 5 tackles on the year. Sure he was inactive a game or two, but come on. Fuck him. They should just cut him or accept whatever piece of shit draft pick they can get for him, even if it’s nothing more than a 6th or 7th. A 7th round practice squad body for next year’s team is better than an overhyped always-watched useless fucker clogging up the locker room with his ego and reporter microphones.
THIRD DEGREE NEGATIVE: T Stephon Heyer. Like I said last week, I loved me some Stephon Heyer when he was a walk-on player who scratched his way into a back-up role on this team a few years back. But now, as a starter, man, it is almost comical the penalties he gets. I was seriously playing a drinking game with it today, and made my 6-year-old kid think I was magic by saying, “It’s #74,” before the ref called it out.
Next week: the Packers come to town, and Aaron Rodgers looks so much like the crackhead dude (literal crackhead, not does stupid things crackhead) who used to date my youngest sister and almost killed her one time that I am ready to hate him so hard. So ready. This is how a win turns your fandom around, even if it’s a sloppy and still too close to feel great about win. But I’m sure Santana Moss and the gang will be talking up their Super Bowl destinies this week, once they beat the Packers. This fucking team.

Season-to-date totals: LB London Fletcher (+10), LB Brian Orakpo (+8), LB Lorenzo Alexander (+7), RB Ryan Torain (+5), S Laron Landry (+5), TE Chris Cooley (+5), WR Anthony Armstrong (+4), RB Clinton Portis (+4), K Graham Gano (+3), GM Bruce Allen (+3), S Kareem Moore (+2), DE Philip Daniels (+2), head coach Mike Shanahan (+1), QB Donovan McNabb (+1), WR Santana Moss (+1), T Trent Williams (even), fan Raven Mack (-1), WR Malcolm Kelly (-1), P Josh Bidwell (-2), owner Dan Snyder (-2), CB DeAngelo Hall (-3), CB Carlos Rogers (-3), DT Albert Haynesworth (-5), T Stephon Heyer (-7).