Well, the season is gone, dead and buried and here I am two and a half months later still gibbering on about it. This is because the only alternative is to descend into the wild bitchfest that takes place every year around this time after free agency begins but before the draft. Everyone hollers back and forth like a bunch of coked up members of Parliament, screaming at each other that they are out of order and all sorts of other ridiculous things, all while they hide behind an incredibly thin veil of civility and respectability. It is almost impressive the amount of different ways that I have seen people call other people a dumb asshole without actually saying the words.
The time has passed though for any more dissections of the 2009 campaign. You don't care and frankly, neither do I. Onward and upward as Moses once said, and let's just fucking get on with this shit as Abe Lincoln so eloquently remarked in the Gettysburg Address. And with that in mind, let's take a look at what the Lions have done since last we discussed such things.
Their biggest move, post Vanden Bosch signing, was trading for Chris Houston, a cornerback from Atlanta. Houston is a speedy fucker, talented and worth the meager sixth round pick that the Lions are throwing the Falcons way for him. He should start right away. But if he's so good, then why oh why were the Falcons so willing to give up on him? Well, I asked my boy Adrian about this and he responded quite simply that Houston just can't find the goddamned ball. He can't get his head around and that costs him. I am holding out hope that somehow, the Lions will be able to do something about this, because Houston has a ton of talent and we desperately need help at cornerback like whoa, as discussed in part 7 of my billion word opus reviewing the glorious 2-14 campaign that we all barely lived through. But, realistically, Houston will probably be a frustrating player to watch, someone who will tantalize with his freakish speed and athletic ability but will confuse us by his inability to, you know, play football. Still, he's better than the alternative of, uh . . . nobody and nobody. So there is that.
Really, there is not a lot going on other than the same speculative bullshit that everyone else is rambling on about and I don't really want to get sucked down that hellish rabbit hole, and to be honest with you, I have tried to write a couple of times now about the Lions and it has collapsed in a bitter flood of tears, so I'll keep this short - incredibly so for me. In fact, I kind of think that I may just throw up these quick hitters a couple of times every week instead of trying to compose a fucking novel every time I write, which, I fear, is the trap I have fallen into. But I am already threatening to careen wildly into the land of a billion words and well, you deserve better, and I will try to give it to you. Vaya con dios, and we shall see each other on the other side.