The Washington Post be bugging on how Jim Zorn and Jason Campbell are both on the hot seat, together, in it to win it or out like the lights. Yeah, no shit. But let me speak upon this.
First, Jason Campbell. I think dude is a good dude. Like, if you had a cookout and you and your delinquent friends kept sneaking off behind the pop-up camper to snort lines of crank, not only is Jason Campbell the type of dude who would occupy any kids who came that direction and kick a soccer ball with them, if one of the ol' ladies yelled out the kitchen window, "Where'd everybody go?" he'd probably cover for you all. He's a straight up bro, through and through. Now as to whether he's a good quarterback, man, I don't know. I probably never will know. It's not like dude's had a good shot at it. Last year, first half, he did really good at not making mistakes, but he also didn't make big plays. I'll take an interception or two if it brings in 3 or 4 pass plays that go for more than your average slant route. And honestly, our offensive line was pretty shit at the end of last year, so we went out and hired a fat dude who hasn't played in two years and got back a guy we let go a few years ago, and they put them all together in the desert and they threw car tires around and didn't eat chinese buffets and this is supposed to suddenly make them awesome and young and not shitty. This is supposed to be a contract year for Jason Campbell, where he proves his awesomeness to the world and becomes a zillionaire black quarterback, but honestly, with this shitty offensive line, and playing in a division that features all teams with ferocious defensive lines, well, Campbell might be crippled after opening weekend against the Giants. Then he gets released, comes back somewhere next year as a back-up hoping for a chance to start, and spends the rest of his career mired in obscurity, like Patrick Ramsey. Ruined. And honestly, I doubt Campbell will be brought back unless he engineers a miracle. Dan Snyder has been pretty clear he'd like fuck different QBs and he doesn't like their closed relationship.
Now Jim Zorn, that wacky, goody goody zen retard. Again, it's a credit to him and his wacky ways he's even here this year, because I'd bet every dollar I have (all $27) that he got upgraded to head coach just because Snyder and Cerrato were conspiring, "Well we can't get Cowher and who that's worth half a shit is gonna come to a team where we're already imposing our own offensive coordinator on them? Let's just make Zorny the coach, let him fuck it up, and run him out of town next year and bring in Cowher." But then he stumbled into an 8-8 season that showed promise, I guess. So he buys himself another year. But the plan is still to see him crash and burn. Why else would they address an impotent and aging offensive line by letting it get another year older? Hell, Zorny's just the cook, he can't help the shit ingredients they give him. He might be a good coach. He definitely seems to keep everybody's attention better than the steady parade of high profile mediocrity we've had since Dan Snyder's been owner.
I think what scares me more than anything is even hearing Mike Shanahan's name mentioned. Fuck a Mike Shanahan. That dude's a first class piece of shit, which is why he'll probably be the Skins coach next year. I don't think enough retarded Redskins fans know about him to online revolt like they did with the Jim Fassell thing last year. Speaking of which, what kind of dumbass owner and GM decide against hiring somebody beause message boards were pissed off? What the fuck man?
Seriously, the best GM move anybody could make for this team is to cut the brake lines on Dan Snyder's Porsche at the top of a curvy mountain road, hopefully with Cerrato in the passenger seat, leaning over, giving the midget billionaire a blowjob.
So there you have it. Jason Campbell, you're a good dude, but you know as well as I do that you're fucked. Jim Zorn, you're a wacky dude, and you know as well as I do that they threw you in over your head on purpose. You've done well in sink or swim mode, but I don't know if you can keep making that happen. I wish you both luck in your future endeavors after this season. And I'll be sitting there suffering emotionally as you experience firsthand the scorched earth philosophy of Dan Snyder. I wonder who the really famous but shitty QB and head coach he'll bring in next year. Oooh... maybe we'll get the Carson Palmer/Mike Shanahan era.