So Jason Campbell's already pissed from Snyder trying to fellate Jay Cutler and Mark Sanchez during the offseason, and Campbell's in a contract year, which means he'll probably play like fucking Johnny Unitas, Randall Cunningham, and Dan Marino rolled up into one. And it'll be the first second season he's really had with one system, and Jim Zorn's hip hip hooray stylings will have sunk into the team completely by now, hopefully, so it's truly a year to show 'em what you got.
But Dan Snyder is retarded with money. Michael Vick sold a lot of jerseys a couple years back, so his star power (and merchandising ability) tricks Snyder (and his little fuckface righthand man Vinny Cerrato) into thinking this is the real deal.
But whatever man, I'm all for it. Campbell's probably gonna leave whether he wants to stay or not, does good or not, no matter what. I have a theory that Zorn was only hired to fuck up so that they could convince Cowher or somebody else with a stupid large ego and stupid large name (unfortunately, that list includes the child molester Mike Shanahan now as well) to come in, and Zorn fucked up his fucking up by doing well enough to finish 8-8 last year. So I assume he will be gone next year, which means if his west coast zenstyle offense doesn't jibe with Mike Vick's playground antics, no matter. Snyder will bring in somebody else next year, at a higher price, with more promise, and less delivery.
The key to me thinking this will happen is De'Angelo Hall. Hall, a fellow Va. Tech Thuggie alum, was all in support of Mike Vick when he got popped by the rollers. Hall got booted from Atlanta for that, went to Oakland where he fleeced Al Davis of millions, then came to Washington and actually played well long enough to fleece some more millions. To his credit, I will give Hall the benefit of the doubt and assume that the fact he's back close to home has given him an edge in life now. And that fact, along with Hall being his boy, is why I think Mike Vick will end up in a Redskins uniform. Close to home, nice schoolboy coach in Jim Zorn to teach Mike the finer things about life outside of football, like how to meditate, stay medium, say corny things, and not drown dogs.
Frankly, I'm all for it. Chris Cooley has gotten kinda lame since he got married, but this team is full of nonsense oddballs. Clinton Portis, Mike Sellers, Fred Smoot, Hall, Randy Thomas, and you throw in a big crazy multimillionaire potential superstar who is most infamous for stomping on the exposed head of a stupid Dallas Cowboy with his cleats in Lord Albert Haynesworth, you are getting the makings of a wacky assed collection of dudes. Perfect environment for Mike Vick. Perfect.
Make it happen retard owner and idiot fake GM. I am over hoping for wins and playoffs and hahahaha a Super Bowl trophy. I just want crazy shit now.