The Redskins backfield, interesting character-wise, is Hall of Fame-worthy at this point. Clinton Portis has won me over big time, even though his on-field production is more out of stubborn pride than anything half the time. He is a fucking weird assed dude, and I, unlike most Skins fans, was stoked when they got him for Champ Bailey. Bailey wanted wide receiver arab money as a cornerback. Shut down or not, you need to be running back some INTs for scores like Madden set on rookie mode to be making wide receiver money. And since that trade, Portis has done nothing but be fucking awesome. Honestly, if somehow the Skins could win a Super Bowl with him still starting, he might be parallel with the sacred social retard John Riggins in my book... that's how great Portis is.
Starting fullback Mike Sellers is the perfect fullback - weird (last year dyed his beard blonde - he's a black dude btw - to have more of a wrestling personality and fire the team up) and laid back yet a brutal punisher. C.P. should be breaking off Rolexes to Sellers too because he's a big reason Portis does as well as he does, especially behind the piecemeal collection of retreads the Redskins O-line is.
Beyond that, the Skins don't do much though. Ladell Betts is still overpaid and touted as an equal to Portis, which he is in age (drafted same year as Portis, and only a few spots behind him, again proving the Redskins draft day prowess), but not nearly in heart. Most teams know you can luck out and find a good RB in the later rounds of the draft and will throw a pick at this every other year at least, looking for somebody who can stick. Not the Redskins though. They are counting on Portis (who is one year more beat up now) and Betts (who is just like Portis, just without the personality, and running like he's wearing knee-high Mad Max-looking work boots caked in clay). So beyond the two Pro Bowlers starting, the Redskins have very little in the way of a RB. (They do have Rock Cartwright - best name in football, at least for a short under-6-foot black dude, but Rock is mostly there for special teams at this point, so we won't discuss him here.)
Quarterback is a different story altogether. Jason Campbell is great at not throwing interceptions. Unfortunately, he's also great at not throwing touchdowns. Basically, he doesn't make mistakes, nor does he break games open. And frankly, I don't care that he's had 13 different offensive coordinators in five years, he doesn't seem to grasp the pace of NFL football. Like, last year, you could see sometimes it was the new coaching staff's fault, because he'd be standing there in 2 minute mode, looking at the sideline, slapping his helmet like "Hurry the fuck up." But still, he's just standing there. It's his ship on the field, regardless of who is navigating. No passion a lot of times. Unfortunately, he's the perfectly mistake-free type of guy who will go to like Minnesota, lead them to the playoffs three years in a row where they lose in the conference championship one time by a field goal, and retarded ass Redskins fans will bitch for 30 years about how the Skins let a great one get away.
The funny thing is, after all this Jay Cutler bullshit started, my first thought was, "I bet Dan Snyder gets him." And today I read that on a blog as a possibility. I mean, first off, you have a big name player on the open market potentially. Cerrato goes to Snyder and is like, "Why don't just trade a bunch of draft picks for him?" Other guy in room says to Snyder, "But really we ought to save those picks and build a complete team. You seen the offensive and defensive lines we're putting together this offseason?" Cerrato counters with, "Yeah, but who are we gonna draft? A bunch of people nobody's ever heard of? Come on... we're talking JAY CUTLER!" Snyder looks at the other dude and says, "Checkmate!" Plus, the Broncos have a long history of fleecing the Redskins ever since the Portis/Bailey trade. They were getting one or two Skins picks a year there for a while, some for guys who never even played for the Redskins.
So I would assume Jay Cutler will end up in Washington, realize he has nobody to throw to, no protection on the line, but all of that won't matter. Because I'm sure after at least a year into his contract, Chris Cooley will have ruined his marriage to the cheerleader chick, and Cooley and Cutler out in public drinking stories will be fucking awesome. And really, at this point, that means more to me than actually winning. I just want to read about them paying three cheerleaders they were group sexing into beating up a Nigerian cab driver.
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