I have finally come to terms with the fact that Dan Snyder is richer than fuck, owns the one professional sports team I feel unbreakable allegiance too, and will not die before me. So instead of holding on to these notions that there will be a return to the glory days of my youth in the '80s when they were either winning Lombardi trophies (you've probably seen them parade them out every time they sign some chump ass dude for thirty billion dollars) or contending on a yearly basis. Those days are gone, and will never come back with Mr. Snyder meddling in things. I can say that at least Jerry Jones helps make one other divisional rival just as retarded, and also Al Davis has 30 years of retardation (although I guess he didn't start out stupid) on Snyder. But don't sell Dan Snyder short... he is an achiever.
Anyways, I have decided to embrace the wild fluctuating overhyped nature of my team, and I will from now on assume they are the best ever, just misunderstood, and every year they will be the best. Enough of this getting all pissed off on Sundays and beating my children over not picking up their Polly Pockets because I'm misdirecting my anger. Through these new drunk-colored glasses, the Redskins are looking good at every area of the field. So I am going to, over the next several flurries of motivation before the draft, start outlaying all the areas of the team and how perfect it already is, or how it's like one step away from it. I guess it's kind of a season review, but that would be an inappropriate description, because I'm looking ahead bro, looking straight ahead. This is all about the future from now on, where Dan Snyder's warped genius will finally come to fruition.
You see, two plans are in motion. First is the uncapped year on the horizon, which might actually happen, and will turn the Redskins and Cowboys into the NFL's Yankees and Red Sox. And an uncapped year of player salaries is like having sex with a black man - there is no going back afterwards. So Mr. Snyder will run up on that event with three checkbooks.
Also, the NFL is pretty strict about ownership, but with this Deep Recession expected to go for a while, there seems to be major concern about the league not being able to find rich folks to fund 32 teams. Apparently, the league is pretty set on not contracting, so what I've read about is the possibility of multiple ownerships, with Dan Snyder purchasing both the Cincinnati Bengals and Jacksonville Jaguars being such a move. The plan (and this came to me from an underling intern in the front office) would be to keep the Bengals a viable, competitive team in the AFC North, so the Redskins wouldn't exactly pilfer them of their talent. But players who fit well with the Redskins master plan would be moved to Washington through shady Madden-esque trades. The Jaguars would pretty much just be looted continuously by the Bengals and Redskins, giving up draft picks and quality younger players for overpaid, underperforming veterans, so that the Jacksonville franchise would be the place to eat free agent mistakes were the league to stay capped, and for younger players to develop. And with them pretty much trading away their best players to the Bengals and ultimately the Redskins for those two franchises draft picks, the Jags would have a shitload of high draft picks every year to cull new players from. Snyder is in the theme park mafia council, so running the Jacksonville Jaguar franchise value down until Disney can buy them up at a fair price and relocate them to the L.A. area in Anaheim is the ultimate goal of this set-up.
Apparently, from what I've been told, Dan Snyder knows Vinny Cerratto's shortcomings, but they're boys and he can't cut him loose. This model would allow a veteran GM to show how good he is in Cincinnati, and for a young unproven guy to earn his stripes in Jacksonville. So it's all about the future in my mind now. I am confident in this team, and will proudly wear the jersey of whoever the fuck is their latest greatest franchise saviour each and every year. I am leaning towards a DeAngelo Hall #23 road burgundy this year, although a #92 would look pretty sharp.
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