It is almost the strike of midnight when the free agency fairy drives Dan Snyder's private jet cross-country for a whirligig of shrimp cocktails and sleepovers at his mansion. Usually, this time of year would cause me to stifle up and mock the little man owning my favorite pro sports team, but I've got a new attitude, bros.
I have decided that since I am only a couple years younger than Dan Snyder and have access to way less quality health care, most likely he will outlive me. So I have to accept the Redskins will never be a winning franchise again, unless by accident. That being said, with this newfound acceptance, I fully embrace Albert Haynesworth as a new Redskin. If my owner is going to waste money on superstars who can't win championships, I would enjoy a guy who has the following things going for him...
A) He sounds like a british dude, but he's black.
B) He's obviously crazy and primadonna-ish, as opposed to secretly crazy molesting children like Bruce Smith.
C) He stomps on Cowboys bare heads with his cleats.
I am excited for this new era. They tried to rebuild through the draft for one year and it obviously didn't work. Fuck it. Let's go big. Colt Brennan in '09!
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