Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Of Mice and George Foster

Apparently, George Foster has already lost his starting job again after only one week. Gosder Cherilus is being given the job, but you know what? I kinda feel bad for Big George. Sure, he sucks and all, and I know the Lions aren't going to win shit with him in there. But hey, fuck it, it's not like they're gonna win shit anyway, you know? Big George in my mind has become a sort of sympathetic figure, a real life Of Mice and Men character, a Lennie Small for our dumbfuck times.

And really, who among us doesn't want to root for a loveable old retard every now and again? I know I am just making my own storylines up and inventing a dude who basically doesn't exist, but sometimes that's what it takes to be a Lions fan. From now on, Big George will be known as Lennie Small to me and I am going to root for that big dumb bastard to get in the game whenever he can and hope that he doesn't fuck anything up too badly. And even if he does, so what? The Lions suck and he's a retard. The least they can do is let the poor, lovable oaf have some fun out there. Come on Marinelli, the boy just wants to play. Let him go, and if he ends up petting Kitna too hard then so be it. It is the price that must be paid.

So, now I have yet another reason to keep watching. The list is now this:

1. See how bad the Lions can really get
2. See if they solve the mystery of Rudi Johnson's missing drawers
3. Lennie Small

It isn't much, but as a Lions fan I'll take what I can get and if that means I have to start inventing character traits for these dudes, then so be it. Lennie Small, may you run long and run hard, may you have as many rabbits to play with as Ernie Sims has lizards and may the day come when society can accept a man of your childlike innocence and brutish strength. You, my friend, are a Detroit Lion and I salute you.

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