Thursday, September 4, 2008
RAIDERS SIGN ASHLEY LELIE, OFFICIALLY GIVE UP ON SEASON
In a move that I can only describe as LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL the Raiders decided to sign former 49er/Falcon/Bronco and eternal fuck up Ashley Lelie. He is the man pictured to your right attempting to orally copulate a football (through his face mask, no less). On the one hand I am not at all surprised. Hell, I'm not even all that angry. After all, he fits the Raider wide receiver profile to a tee: Tall, fast, athletic, bad hands, unable to run a route or remember a playbook, lazy as shit. I blame that more on his Hawaiian upbringing more than anything else. If I grew up surrounded by the ocean and titties I'd be lazy, too. This is coming from a Mexican. In all likelihood the Raiders will end up cutting one of the two young receivers (Chaz Schilens and Todd Watkins) who busted their asses to make the team in favor of this complete and total failure of an athlete. But hey, HE SURE DOES RUN FAST! At this point the Raiders front office must be making all of their roster moves based on the recommendations of a 2004 Fantasy Football player ranking. I give up. I give the fuck up.