Thursday, September 4, 2008

RAIDERS SIGN ASHLEY LELIE, OFFICIALLY GIVE UP ON SEASON

In a move that I can only describe as LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL the Raiders decided to sign former 49er/Falcon/Bronco and eternal fuck up Ashley Lelie. He is the man pictured to your right attempting to orally copulate a football (through his face mask, no less). On the one hand I am not at all surprised. Hell, I'm not even all that angry. After all, he fits the Raider wide receiver profile to a tee: Tall, fast, athletic, bad hands, unable to run a route or remember a playbook, lazy as shit. I blame that more on his Hawaiian upbringing more than anything else. If I grew up surrounded by the ocean and titties I'd be lazy, too. This is coming from a Mexican. In all likelihood the Raiders will end up cutting one of the two young receivers (Chaz Schilens and Todd Watkins) who busted their asses to make the team in favor of this complete and total failure of an athlete. But hey, HE SURE DOES RUN FAST! At this point the Raiders front office must be making all of their roster moves based on the recommendations of a 2004 Fantasy Football player ranking. I give up. I give the fuck up.

4 comments:

Neil said...

Ashley Lelie has been dead to me ever since he was a colossal bust on my fantasy team. Fuck him, I hope he ends up doing nothing but changing Al Davis' diapers during his time in Oakland.

L.B. said...

This is exactly how I felt when Brandon Lloyd became a Bear.

Raven Mack said...

I think the only thing that sucks worse than getting cut on that final cut day in the NFL must be making the team that day, then your team signs some other dude who got cut from somewhere else the day after and cuts you then.

Ed said...

Yeah. Harpo, you lasted longer at this than I would have. God bless you.