Looking back, the reason 2009 was such a horrible year was because it showed a lot of signs of being the year, man. I mean, we had a quarterback that didn't look to be just a placeholder until we got a real one for the first time in what felt like 20 years, the offensive line looked like it was finally getting together, (hindsight note: LOL) and the three dudes we had lining up behind the big fat dudes on defense looked like the squad. We had Brian Urlacher healthy for the first time since 2006, Lance Briggs locking shit down on the weak side as always, and a legit NFL linebacker in Pisa Tinoisamoa on the strong side, making up for a couple years of post-2006 Hunter Hillenmeyer and Nick Roach stinking up the joint. Well, then week one happened.
So much for that.After a disastrous outing against the Packers, Urlacher was gone for the year and Tinoisamoa only showed up in one more game before God struck him down with a lightning bolt as well, and instead of finally living in a world without Nick Roach or Hunter Hillenmeyer, we were stuck in one with Roach AND Hillenmeyer. I was glad to have one of them out of the lineup, and there we were with both. Fuck. It was like having to take a dump really bad, getting right to the bathroom door, and then shitting your pants and unexpectedly puking at the same time. But enough about the weekend.
In an unexpected turn of events, with the Bears fielding a skeleton crew of assholes and shitheels, the linebacking wasn't that bad. Bob Babich probably figured he was about to get run the hell out of town after losing the defensive coordinator job that he never should have had, and coached up these fuckers to something nearly resembling respectability. Don't get me wrong, Roach didn't make anyone forget Wilber Marshall and Hillenmeyer is still the dude that forgot you're allowed to run fast in 2007, but overall, this was probably the least-embarrassing part of the defense. So yeah, good job, Bob.
*** CHICAGO BEARS BLOG NERD ROOKIE SPOTLIGHT: Marcus Freeman ***
Oh Jesus. Here's what I wrote way back in the time:The next fifth-rounder was Marcus Freeman, a linebacker straight outta Ohio State. Once again, this dude was supposed to be a third-rounder, so he was a bargain at the very least. Furthermore, Hunter Hillenmeyer hit the wall last year, and Nick Roach just sort of sucked, so holmes could be in the running to be the strong-side linebacker next year.I remember being excited as hell about this dude, partially because a lot of experty type places were high on him, and partially, because he's half-Korean. I mean, shit, that's what Hines Ward is, and Hines Ward is fucking awesome, and I had imagined Freeman as some bizarro world Hines Ward, where it would be a linebacker who killed wide receivers, as opposed to a wide receiver who killed linebackers all the time. Also, he has the same name as my computer-generated rookie dude I had on NFL 2K5 this one time, and that dude was the finest fictional QB in Bears history. But his 2009 season basically consisted of being cut by the Bears, then being cut by the Texans, and then being cut by the Bills. So the hell much for Marcus Freeman.
"Stop fuckin' it up for the home team, Marcus."
Anyway, back to the players that actually mattered, Lance Briggs was Lance Briggs, meaning that he's still the poor man's Derrick Brooks, which means he's still one of the best dudes. He didn't have the best year ever, probably because he didn't have Urlacher around to pick up his light work or whatever, but he's still the heart and soul of this defense, just like he has been ever since Mike Brown's body told him to kiss its ass, and everyone started calling Brian Urlacher and/or Tommie Harris the heart and soul of the defense. In the end, he got voted to his fifth straight Pro Bowl, which is crazy, as only like two or three other Bear linebackers have ever done that, and superstar Old Spice boy isn't even one of those. It's like a huge honor and some Hall of Fame shit he's got going on there, but of course, he opted out of playing in the actual game, because seriously, fuck a Pro Bowl.I'm going to lump the other two starters together, because I'm pretty sure that's the way I've always mentioned them, and honestly, they kinda run together after a while. Neither Nick Roach or Hunter Hillenmeyer are very good. Like at all. Hilly used to be good back in the day, but lately, he plays like one of those Zach Thomas style dudes who used to be really, really good, but have played 15 years and are now creeping up on forty, which belies the fact that Hillenmeyer was slightly above average in his prime, has only played seven years, and isn't thirty yet. So he's slow and shitty now, but he knows what to do and where to go, so he did better in the middle than a dude as slow and shitty as he is should have done, and contrary to all the shit I've just talked on him, he had one of his best years.
Meanwhile, over on the strong side, Roach was just sort of there, which people will tell you is about all a strong side linebacker needs to do in a Cover 2 scheme, but I say that's more of a reason to abandon that bullshit scheme than anything else. Still, Roach played above his level, which is to say that on most teams, he'd be a special teams guy / warm body for real players to hit in practice, but on the Bears, he starts fifteen games. And that's terrible. But he wasn't an embarrassment, which is pretty surprising.
And he LOVES to cook, ladies~
The real tragedy of the Roach/Hillenmeyer combo is another symptom of the Lovie Smith Disease, where the starters are determined before the preseason even starts, and nothing can ever change that, ever. Way back in 2006, the Bears drafted this dude, Jamar Williams. He wasn't a really high pick or anything, but he showed some potential, and when that whole "Lance Briggs says he'll never play for the Bears again" saga was going on, Williams became the holy anointed savior of the team, in the event that Briggs left. Mind you, this is a dude that can play all three linebacker positions. All. Three. Positions. But, once all this went down, he was now in the team brain trust's mind a weak side linebacker and nothing more, ever, meaning the he only sees the field when Lance Briggs gets hurt, which isn't often. So this whole time, while Brian Urlacher can't stay in one piece, and we've had to endure a Hillenmeyer/Roach battle for a starting job, Jamar Williams has sat on the bench. But this year, he got to start two games, and what did he do? He averaged thirteen tackles a contest, and pretty much was the absolute dude of dudes out there.
And he could have been playing instead of Hillenroach this whole time. But hey, Urlacher's getting old, so having Williams on the bench means we have a potential viable option for when he finally takes the Long Walk, right? Nope, Williams is a free agent now, and I'm pretty sure the Bears are going to let him walk. And he's going to make some other team real happy someday, while we scramble for some fair-to-middling ex-Ram or ex-Buccaneer square peg to shove into that round hole. And we shall cry. That sounded dirty. Especially with the crying part. Wow.
Behind all those other dudes, there's not much to speak of. Darrell McClover and Tim Shaw were purely special teamers, and the Bears actually signed former good player Cato June at one point, only to cut him a couple weeks later. And this makes me really, really glad that we didn't just dump Briggs in 2007 and give him a huge free agent contract, like everyone seemed to want us to do. Looking forward, whenever I get around to the special teams recap, you're all going to be subjected to a giant gay love letter for Tim Shaw, but that's another story for another day.
Summing up: Everything was terrible, but not as bad as it should have been with everyone dead or dying by week two. Lance Briggs was awesome, Hunter Hillenmeyer was better than he should have been, Nick Roach existed, Jamar Williams is going to lead someone else's defense to glory, and Bob Babich saved his job.
NEXT TIME: The goddamn running backs.
The real tragedy of the Roach/Hillenmeyer combo is another symptom of the Lovie Smith Disease, where the starters are determined before the preseason even starts, and nothing can ever change that, ever. Way back in 2006, the Bears drafted this dude, Jamar Williams. He wasn't a really high pick or anything, but he showed some potential, and when that whole "Lance Briggs says he'll never play for the Bears again" saga was going on, Williams became the holy anointed savior of the team, in the event that Briggs left. Mind you, this is a dude that can play all three linebacker positions. All. Three. Positions. But, once all this went down, he was now in the team brain trust's mind a weak side linebacker and nothing more, ever, meaning the he only sees the field when Lance Briggs gets hurt, which isn't often. So this whole time, while Brian Urlacher can't stay in one piece, and we've had to endure a Hillenmeyer/Roach battle for a starting job, Jamar Williams has sat on the bench. But this year, he got to start two games, and what did he do? He averaged thirteen tackles a contest, and pretty much was the absolute dude of dudes out there.And he could have been playing instead of Hillenroach this whole time. But hey, Urlacher's getting old, so having Williams on the bench means we have a potential viable option for when he finally takes the Long Walk, right? Nope, Williams is a free agent now, and I'm pretty sure the Bears are going to let him walk. And he's going to make some other team real happy someday, while we scramble for some fair-to-middling ex-Ram or ex-Buccaneer square peg to shove into that round hole. And we shall cry. That sounded dirty. Especially with the crying part. Wow.
Behind all those other dudes, there's not much to speak of. Darrell McClover and Tim Shaw were purely special teamers, and the Bears actually signed former good player Cato June at one point, only to cut him a couple weeks later. And this makes me really, really glad that we didn't just dump Briggs in 2007 and give him a huge free agent contract, like everyone seemed to want us to do. Looking forward, whenever I get around to the special teams recap, you're all going to be subjected to a giant gay love letter for Tim Shaw, but that's another story for another day.
Summing up: Everything was terrible, but not as bad as it should have been with everyone dead or dying by week two. Lance Briggs was awesome, Hunter Hillenmeyer was better than he should have been, Nick Roach existed, Jamar Williams is going to lead someone else's defense to glory, and Bob Babich saved his job.
NEXT TIME: The goddamn running backs.
1 comment:
I know these things are soul sucking endeavors that mark us as great fools, but your shit is consistently awesome and I love it when you write this stuff.
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