Farewell, Lennie Small

Goodbye, Lennie, you sweet prince of a man. You stood your ground when everyone said that you were a lousy football player(well, except for the times when you jumped early). You held those vicious wolves at bay when they howled for your head(You also held the opponent too much, but hey, you're Lennie Small, you can't help it, you don't know any better.) But above all, you managed to be an important cog in the Detroit Lions' well oiled machine, and were such an inspiration as a player that I was left with no choice but to compare you - no, compare is such a weak word here - to dub you the real life incarnation of a renowned character from twentieth century American literature. Truly, you were an inspiration to many(mostly to the institutionalized and the mildly retarded, but hey, everyone needs heroes), and I will never forget you Lennie Small. You may have been born George Foster, but you shall always be Lennie in my heart, and it is my hope that you can spend the rest of your days petting rabbits and remembering that although you may be gone, your contributions in the building of the glorious world of 0-16 will never be forgotten. Thank you, gentle and noble son, and goodbye(That means don't come back, Lennie. No, Lennie . . . Oh God, he just turned around, quick, shut the door! SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR!)