Ah is I, Ah is I, can they save them?
Two things of note happened this past week:
1. The Niners signing LB Ahmad Brooks who had just got cut from the Cincinatti Bengals. San Francisco was looking at picking him in last year's supplemental draft and Brooks' agent told him they were looking to trade for him earlier in the pre-season. Last April he punched a woman in the face. This is just what the 49ers need after losing such a quality dude and leader like Bryant Young to retirement last year.
2. Speaking of the perennial captain, Mike Nolan gave up on his "innovative "captain idea of having 11 "shop captains". The idea was stupid in the first place, making sure all positions on the team are represented. An NFL team (and the NFL in general) isn't a democratic body that involves delegation from each position on the team. It's probably the closest thing to a successful Socialist state the world has. That's a discussion I'd rather not go into great lengths because if I wanted to intelligently masturbate I can google "Glasses porn" and save you the torture.
The idea of 11 guys representing their respective positions sounds ludicrous and is another hurdle in team unity.
Thankfully, Nolan has seen the error in his way and has gone the traditional football captain route complete with "C" patches for uniforms and everything.
Here are the four captains voted in(offense, defense, special teams and team rep) and see how they stack up in keeping the red 'n gold glue together.
Offensive CaptainEric Heitmann, Starting Center
A seven-year veteran from Stanford. He enjoys breaking his right tibia on a 2-yard run Frank Gore run. Has been on the team long enough to remember the last vestiges of the glory days. Is the leader of an O-line Mike Martz says is the best he's had in many years. But you never know, considering last year's "Passion of The Kitna" must've felt longer than one season for Martz.
Defensive CaptainPatrick Willis, Starting MLB
Last year's Defensive Rookie of the Year takes on the role of leader for this inconsistent Niner defense. Playing the position his coach Mike Singletary once owned, Willis has feared stating his preference to "Mama's Boy" Otis Wilson's verse to Samurai Mike's on the "Super Bowl Shuffle" to Coach Singletary himself. This has not stopped him from taking on a leadership role on a team. It certainly did not stop him from making 20 tackles in a game against Tampa Bay which is almost like punching girls in the face. The defense has been up-and-down the last couple of years, but it certainly doesn't help that most of the time spent inbetween being on the field last year was about one minute of watching Trent Dilfer wonder if he could rate the pain in his Achilles' tendon with other NFL quarterbacks and if it would be compared to the pain of the original Achilles himself.
Special Teams CaptainMichael Robinson, backup RB and special teams guy
One of like 33 guys on the team that was drafted as one position and quickly converted to another. The former QB finished 5th in the Heisman ballot his senior year at Penn St. Great hustle guy and does everything the 49ers ask him. Perfect captain for special teams. If he was white, the word "gritty" would be stapled on his forehead.
Team RepWalt Harris, CB
The NFLPA rep for the 49ers as well. Kind of a pointless captain position as he should just be a team rep but I think he gets a "C" on his jersey too. Snagged 8 INTs in '06 (team-high). His fourth year with the Niners. The oldest captain on the team, has played for four NFL teams which is still only half the amount of teams JT O'Sullivan has played for.
When Nolan first joined this team, he was ready to kick all the bad seeds out to the curb and make this team a group of model citizens. It worked for the most part, but it doesn't hurt that most of the bad seeds were mediocre players (see Lloyd, Brandon). I applauded his willingness to make this team a collective group of stand-up dudes but maybe we needed more guys that can catch a football or rush a passer. Even the old 49ers in their majestic awe were full of undercover skeevs. Jerry Rice was caught in a massage parlor. But they knew their P.R., they knew the limits to what can and can't hurt their team and they knew how to play fucking football.
So yeah, with B.Y. gone it's not like the 49ers lack such vaunted words as "leadership", "courage", "discipline" and "positive influence" in their locker room. What the girl-puncher can possibly bring is potential "talent", "skill" and "GHB". If that gets us an extra win, well then it's worth the risk.
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