Raiders Report Card: Quarterbacks

I want to make this as painless as possible, so I am starting with the most God awful of positions first. The Raiders QB play this season was terrible. Not as bad as 06, but not much better. Lane Kiffin has a throbbing hard on for Josh McCown. Where the rest of the world sees a turnover prone dweeb with a bad haircut, Coach Kiffin somehow sees potential. As I have stated previously, as a Raiders fan I have seen more than my share of bad QB play over the years. Fortunately I have also seen a few scattered years of good QB play mixed in, which is more than Bears fans can say. I honestly wonder how those guys do it. Among all the horrible QBs who have passed through Oakland and Los Angeles over the years none has managed to raise my ire like Josh McClown.
The thing that bugs me more than anything about the guy is the fact that he doesn't know that he sucks. At least by the time Rick Mirer was starting games here he was a 3rd stringer thrown into a starters role after injuries. We had no expectations, and more importantly, HE had no expectations. He knew he was Rick Mirer. He knew he sucked. So when he threw a 4 hopper to Tim Brown on a 7 yard comebacker no one got all up in arms. When he'd hit a free safety in stride right between the numbers with a tight spiral, well, that's what you get with Rick Mirer. He kept his head down and his mouth shut. McClown is a whole different type of horrible QB. He'd go out there and put the ball on the turf and then go to the sidelines and try to fire up his O-Line. Whaaaaa? Barry Sims and Robert Gallery are two of the worst starting linemen in football, but even they don't deserve to have this asshole coming over and getting in their faces to try and pump them up after he gives the other team the ball. His post game interviews were a sight to behold. The word "accountability" was nowhere to be seen. He'd side step blame like Devin Hester jukes dudes out on punt returns. When he'd get hurt or benched he'd quietly make murmurs about how he thought he should be playing. And, get this, he walked around all season off the field wearing a special boot. A special boot. And at one point he even lost the boot. All of this shit has lead me to one possible conclusion: Josh McClown is retarded. He simply has to be mentally handicapped. It explains everything. After watching a very special young man ruin my team's season all I can say is there but for the grace of God go I. God speed, you fucking mongoloid.

Whereas Josh McClown was a terrible QB I have never witnessed before, Daunte Culpepper was one whose type I'm all too familiar with: the retread. Al Davis has managed to run an NFL franchise without drafting and developing a QB for decades. It defies all logic, but he has made it work somehow. Unfortunately for Raider fans, Uncle Al is stuck in this time warp where his style of football still wins championships despite 20+ years telling him otherwise. Culpepper was supposed to be the next in the lineage of reclamation projects for the Raiders. He was supposed to be Plunkett or Hostettler or Jeff George or Rich Gannon. He was going to come in with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. He was supposed to be playing for his next contract. This was going to be his comeback season. Instead all he did was prove that he is done. At the end of the season he has nothing to show except a game where he rushed for 3 TDs against a team that ended up winning one game all season, and a quad injury he sustained in a race after practice. Someone somewhere will think he has something left in the tank and give him a shot in the pre season next year and he'll do the same thing over again. He is a bad NFL QB with average arm strength and tiny hands. See ya.

Andrew Walter gets to wear his uniform 2 or 3 times a year. That's all I can say about him.

JaMarcus Russell is a large negro who can throw the shit out of a football. I look forward to him overthrowing receivers next season. I can't say with any confidence that he'll ever be any good, but after the season I was just subjected to he certainly can't do any worse.

Final Grade: F+