Painful Weekend

As if the Redskins loss wasn't enough for me to have to handle (and my children, as I am apt to beat them over minor household infractions ever since Saturday evening), but yesterday I caught the last few minutes of the Chargers/Titans game. Yeah, when Norv Turner was DANCING some retard country hick Ickey Shuffle with one of his players, as the clock expired. I cannot even begin to tell you how much I can't stand Norv Turner, and it makes me sad to my heart and not believe in a God that he would be able to have a lone playoff victory to somehow justify his completely shitty and useless NFL head coaching career.
You see, far more than Dan Snyder, Norv Turner ruined the Redskins. He came on board before Snyder, when Jack Kent Cooke's heirs were trying to figure out how to maximize the profits of their patriarch's death, ol' Water Heater Explosion Face Norvell Turner was stalking the sidelines, instilling as strong a sense of mediocrity as he could into a Redskins franchise that previously had been built to greatness by Joe Gibbs, and George Allen (the good racist father head coach George Allen, not the evil racist Senator George Allen) before him. So while the Cooke children bickered, and then worked at finding suitably leveraged buyers, Turner continued along, with no real results to show for his work, pretending to be a head coach.
(I should probably interject here that any franchise should never hire a high-profile member of their blood rival's staff, and Turner was the OC at Dallas before destroying the Redskins franchise from within. The Redskins should never have even entertained hiring a Cowboys' dude, ever.)
By the time Dan Snyder officially took over the Redskins as owner, Norv Turner had mastered the art of doing just enough to justify another year, barely missing the playoffs, or even making it once but losing right away. Mediocrity. Deeply instilled into the franchise. Snyder finally got rid of the fucker, and for the longest time played fantasy football with his money, trying to turn the franchise's mediocre meanderings around with high-priced overrated talent (often times suggested to him by his corporate lapdog Vinny Cerrato, who is #2 on my shit list of destroying the Redskins from within). This is basically the method he used until coaxing Joe Gibbs to come back, which finally has led to Snyder being more of an owner who does what he's asked and less of an owner who forces shit on his coaches in an excited effort to make Lombardi Trophies out of former Pro Bowlers with no chemistry.
So watching Norv Turner win a game the Chargers should've won 99 times out of 100, after the Redskins lost in one of their first flashes of recovery from the disease of apathy Turner gave them, it made me sick. And now, I will do something I've never before even entertained as a possibility... I am going to root for Peyton Manning. As annoyed as I am by Peyton Manning's "duh, ah can audible evruh play" corporate hick schtick, it has not poisoned my favorite team the past decade. I can mute commercials, but I can't make Norv Turner turning the Redskins into a fucking Saints-like football team. And if the Chargers went whatever they did and won a playoff game this year with Turner, they probably would've won three extra games and another round of the playoffs without him. Fucking Norv Turner.
Probably later this week I'll do a year end wrap-up on the Skins, after I settle down from the loss this weekend and stop feeling like kicking puppies and smacking babies all day long. Luckily, it's a warm spell here in the middle of winter, which makes women wear nice tops that highlight how hormone injections in milk have caused large breasts on bitches, which makes my hatred for everything due to football be clouded by me wanting to have sex with just about any decent-looking woman from the ages of 16 to 45. But it's gonna get cold again, because it's January, and the Redskins are done and fuckface Norvell Ascot Turner is still going to be standing on the sidelines next Sunday, being a fucking useless piece of shit.