Dart Adams presents The Divisional Playoffs Report Day Two

He was the best of Mannings, he was the worst of Mannings. He threw for 400 yards and turned the ball over, he threw for 163 yards and never turned it over once. One was known as a big game quarterback and the other had yet to win a big game in his career. Somewhere Archie Manning was going through hell on Sunday.

The two games on the slate for the day were the early game that determined who the Patriots would play against in the AFC Championship between the Indianapolis Colts and San Diego Chargers. The night game was between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants for the right to play the Green Bay Packers for the NFC crown. Let's review what happened:

The first game featured the defending Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts playing a divisional playoff game at home versus the banged up and bruised San Diego Chargers. The Colts were looking forward to getting All World receiver Marvin Harrison back for the first time this season while we wondered if Antonio Gates, LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers would be able to make it through the entire game. The Colts were a proven offensive machine with an improved defense after Bob Sanders came back. Not to mention that they were battle tested playoff veterans. The Chargers didn't stand a hamburger's chance on Biz Markie's plate (he's huge...Google a picture of him).

The game started out in typical fashion as the Colts went to the air, hit Dallas Clark and leapt out to a quick 7-0 lead. The fans went bananas after Philip Rivers killed a drive by throwing a pick. The Colts then did them a favor as the usually sure handed Marvin Harrison coughed up the ball and gave it right back to the Chargers. The Chargers drove down the field and tied the game at 7-7. The commentators began comparing Peyton Manning's 13-13 start to Tom Brady's 16-16 start the day before. As soon as they uttered that sentence Peyton Manning threw his first incompletion of the day...it wouldn't be the last, either. The Colts had to settle for a Vinatieri field goal to take the lead 10-7.

The black and blue Chargers battled back even though they had lost LT for the day after a hard hit on his knee. Anthony Cromartie came up with an interception before the half and it looked like he ran it back for the game leading touchdown. After the play was over, there was a phantom flag thrown that brought the interception all the way back to the spot of the interception with just 2 seconds on the clock. Since the Chargers were going to start the 2nd half with the ball. They knew that they had to strike first.

Behind the running of Sproles and Turner and clutch catches from Vince Jackson the Bolts were finally able to punch it in on a gorgeous long pass from Rivers to Chris Chambers to go up 14-10. Peyton drove his squad all the way down the field just to throw an interception in the red zone. The Chargers couldn't capitalize and gave the ball right back to the Colts who put together a drive and retook the lead 17-14. The lead was short lived however, because Philip Rivers hit paydirt with a 56 yard screen pass to Sproles to make it 21-17. It would also become the final play of the game for Philip Rivers as he was hobbled with a leg injury.

The Colts weren't dead yet and Peyton Manning's arm felt fine. He proved it by rifling the ball into the throes of the Charger defense again and again as Joseph Addai wasn't able to break a big run. Peyton lasered the ball and Anthony Gonzalez caught the pass and stayed inbounds to made the game 24-21 in favor of the Colts after backup Charger quarterback Bobby Volek failed to even get a first down.

Bobby Volek then did the seemingly impossible and orchestrated a clutch drive late in the 4th quarter. Volek quarterback sneaked his way into the end zone to give the Chargers the 28-24 lead with 4:50 left on the clock. If anyone could put together a game winning drive to assure that the Colts would end up in the inevitable AFC Championship matchup with the New England Patriots. After all, the Chargers had LT and Philip Rivers on the sidelines. Sure the Colts had Marvin Harrison and Bob Sanders grabbing some pine but this all came down to Peyton to win it. If he didn't win this game than he didn't deserve all of those damn commercials I see him in.

To make a long story short, Peyton Manning fucked up and his team lost to a squad that looked like they just stepped out of an episode of ER. I was acting a goddamn fool because this meant that the only thing standing between the Patriots and the Super Bowl are a team full of cats that need catscans, MRI's and cortisone shots to practice this week. All Ryan Merriman needs to do is take his power pellets. Here's the matchup for Sunday!


January 20th, 2008
AFC Championship Game
New England Patriots vs. San Diego Chargers @ Gillete Stadium 3:00 PM

The night game had a bunch of compelling story lines to it. Would Eli finally show up in a big game? Would the Giants D be effective? Will T.O. have a popcorn worthy game? Which Cowboys team will show up? The one that ran through comp during the regular season or the squad that underachieved all December? Did Romo and Witten ever double team Jessica? What does Pam Oliver use to wax her forehead to get it so damn shiny? These and many more questions were abound at the beginning of the contest.

The game started and the Giants put together a drive capped off by an Amani Toomer catch and several missed tackles that led to a TD. The Giants were up 7-0 to start the game and the crowd was silent. Next, the Cowboys came out and looked clueless during their first series. They gave the ball back to the Giants who drove it up to midfield. They had a 4th & 1 and Tom Coughlin chose to punt. I screamed at the screen, pissed off because I knew that if the Giants could go up 14-0 early on the Cowboys, it would give them the psychological edge. Sure, they hadn't been able to touch Romo yet, but with the G men's relentless pass rush, it would only be a matter of time before they got to him.

The game was tied up 7-7 and Marion Barber managed to run the ball effectively. After the Giants failed to move the ball, the Cowboys took the ball and went on a drive for the ages. The 20 play, 10:28 drive was highlighted by 6 3rd down conversions. Many children were born and conceived during this drive. At the end the Cowboys were up 14-7 and T.O. pulled in a TD pass and gave it to a little kid. There was less than a minute left before the half was over. Eli Manning didn't care. He chucked the ball and got his team in the end zone in only 4 plays and :47. The game was tied at 14-14 at the half and all of the energy was sucked right out of the arena. I knew right then and there that the Cowboys weren't gonna win this game.

The second half of the game saw Marion Barber not being able to recapture the same form he had in the 1st half. Terrell Owens couldn't get open, but Patrick Crayton, Terry Glenn and Jason Witten were moving the chains. Tony Romo didn't appear to be a man who had all of the protein drained out of his body by a nameless blond succubus pop star with huge breasts (I'm talking about Jessica Simpson, she's the blond succubus pop star with huge breasts I was previously referring to).
The only score in the entire 3rd quarter was a Cowboys FG that gave them a 17-14 lead. The Giants came out and drove as Eli Manning continued to be efficient and manage the game without turning the ball over. With 13:29 left in the game, Brandon Jacobs ran into the end zone and flung the pigskin at the play clock. The Giants had the lead on the road 21-17 and their defense was hyped up now.

Time and time again the Giants linebackers were able to either shed their blockers or just come in clean to pressure Tony Romo into making worse decisions then Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Rumer Willis all combined (Rumer dresses like a damn colorblind hobo). He held the ball instead of throwing it away when he was out of the pocket. Then he threw the ball away before he got out of the pocket. When he was able to get the ball away it was either for short yards, too long for the receiver, or it was dropped (Crayton, I'm looking at you!). Neither the Giants or the Cowboys could put points on the board but Eli Manning was able to play the field position game and not turn the ball over.

In the end, the Cowboys were undone by the Giants harrassing defense, drive stalling sacks, costly penalties and ultimately an interception in the end zone. It was done. Tony Romo had failed to win a playoff game and Eli Manning had finally won the big game on the same day his brother lost the big game. A whole bunch of people across the nation lost money on Sunday. At the post game press conference T.O. (Mr. Get Your Popcorn Ready) was crying like a six year old girl. I feel for him that he was on a #1 seed team in the NFC and they went one and out and now he and his quarterback were gonna be under mad scrutiny but please T.O., MAN THE FUCK UP!!! There's no crying! There's no crying in football (unless you win a big game, that is)!

The game for all the NFC marbles is now set in stone:

January 20th, 2008
NFC Championship Game
Green Bay Packers vs. New York Giants @ Lambeau Stadium 6:30 PM

I don't know about y'all but I can't wait for Sunday!

One.