The fact of the matter is they (meaning Danny Snyder and his asshat sidekick Vinny Boy Cerrato) had two sensible choices - either hire a for-real General Manager, which would've been really fucking sensible, or promote Gregg Williams, which would've been sensible enough as well to at least ride out what's been started that Joe Gibbs bailed on to handle his family business in Carolina. Of course, this is Dan Snyder so neither has happened. He's got Jim Mora having sleepovers in his mansion and holding 10-hour interviews with coaches, including FOUR FUCKING INTERVIEWS with Gregg Williams already. Four. And why the fuck do you need a ten-hour interview, other to just completely exemplify what a meddling nitpicky bullshit watching over your shoulder like a nosy little bitch used car salesman owner you're gonna be? I just had a new baby at home with a mid-wife, and the longest meeting me and my wife had with a potential mid-wife was like an hour. And that's to have our offspring's health somewhat securely promised by someone. Dan Snyder is a fucking fool and he will run this franchise into the ground. Being they of course completely overlooked the fact that no team has ever been successful without a bonafide General Manager, I doubt seriously they're even gonna hire Gregg Williams. And you would hope, as a Redskins fan like me who continues to naively have hope against all signs otherwise, that they'd make a sensible genius hire like maybe Cowher or at least Russ Grimm or Mike Singletary or something, but instead he'll probably hire Jim Tressel or some nobody go-nowhere fuck like Jim Mora Jr. who used to share hookers with Cerrato in San Fran back in the good ole days when Cerrato's lack of long-term mathematics ran that franchise into the ground. Seriously, what the fuck is going on? I am so frustrated. Was it only two weeks ago we were in a playoff game? Fucking feels like thirty-nine losses in a row ago.
God, if you exist and you are a God like them old folks made me afraid you were, and you read stupid blogs about dumb shit on the internet on your super-wi-fi connected iPhone from the future, will you make Dan Snyder's helicopter fucking wreck? Also, yeah I know that's fucked up, but seriously, I don't think I'd feel bad. I know he's invested so much money into this and all that, but fuck, I've invested all my sports-based emotions for my entire cognizant life. I am not sitting here feeling anyone owes me anything or some shit, for being a brainwashed fuckface who sits here and attaches my emotions to a professional football franchise I have no control over in games I have no effect upon, but fuck this shit. I've been in this relationship for over thirty years now, and it's been a pretty crappy relationship for a good fifteen years now, with you always being like, "Look at these old pictures and remember the good times," and I didn't want to fuck with you anymore so I'd mentally masturbate to those old memories, and every now and then you get my dick hard with these promises like two weeks ago on the Sean Taylor Destiny Express, but then I lay there sad, wondering why the fuck I ever trusted you again. Fuck you Dan Snyder. I'll never understand how you are so adept at complicating the simplest shit and overlooking the obvious. Why don't you just hire Deion Sanders to be head coach and come down here to Virginia and rape my children with Jack Kent Cooke's brittle bones? Fucker. And so young too. You might even be younger than me, which doesn't really matter because you fly around on private helicopters to your 22 million dollar mansion while I apply liquid polymers to people's houses. Shit, I haven't even worked in two weeks because of the economy and my lack of finding suitable interior work. So I sit here, buying the Washington Post every morning, waiting to read something great to fill my sad bored life with some sports stimulation, but nothing. More "10-hour interview with token black guy" stories and quotes from a linebacker about how they support Gregg Williams and that's it. Fuck.
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