Draftin'

Well, the draft was weird this year. Mainly because the Bears didn't have a pick over the course of the entire first day. Normally, I'd be upset by this, but after I learned that the Bears were all set and ready to use their second rounder on the dude that made the Raiders the laughingstock of the nation, I suddenly became much more okay with things.

The first pick of the draft, with a third-rounder they got as part of a trade for the near-humiliating second round pick was Jarron Gilbert, a pick I'm just fine with, because everyone and their damn grandmama seems to be calling this guy the steal of the draft. He's allegedly one of those "boom or bust" guys that either end up being superstars or crackhead bums, but I'm going to be cautiously optimistic and stay pumped that we got him for now. This guy was a nice pick, because the Bears were hurting for a pass rush, and with a new highly-touted three technique defensive tackle around, Tommie Harris is officially put on notice that if he becomes a bitch again, him and his huge contract full of "we can dump you for being a bitch without losing much cash" clauses are outta here. Also, the dude can JUMP OUT OF A SWIMMING POOL:

For their next third round pick, one of the ones they got as compensation for not signing anybody last year, they got wide receiver Juaquin Iglesias, who is the kind of good-but-not-great wide receiver that the Bears are known for, a dude with good hands who's kind of medium sized and isn't actually fast, but has the necessary moves to return kicks if he has to. Still, he was supposed to go about a round earlier, depending on who you ask, so he must be on the really good end of the good-but-not-great scale. Or something. Who knows. It's kind of like Earl Bennett taken two years in a row, and it still makes me wonder whose child he backed over in the driveway to not get ten seconds of playing time last year. Anyway, now that I think about it, this is the only guy they drafted that I had heard of prior to the draft, but I'm pretty sure that's just because he played in a stadium that I can sorta see from my driveway. I don't follow the college footballs very much.

In the fourth round, they went for Henry Melton, the defensive end from Texas who wasn't Brian Arapaho or whatever. Anyway, he's a dude who didn't do a whole lot in college, but kicked all sorts of ass at the Combine, so more than anything, he's probably just a "looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane" player who ends up making you relieved that your team didn't waste a first-rounder on him. Still, it's rare to find a sure thing in the fourth round, and maybe now that he's doing a job he's actually good at, Rod Marinelli can maybe coach him up into an actual football player. Or maybe he'll still be 2008 Rod and Melton will just end up throwing a bunch of M-80s into the jeering crowd. Or maybe become a NAZI. The second fourth-rounder, cornerback D.J. Moore, was supposed to go in the second round, but supposedly, everybody got all concerned over him being 5'9" or whatever. I'm pretty pumped for this pick, because they were hurting for corners last year, when Corey Graham only looked good because of how bad Nathan Vasher was, and Charles Tillman only looked good because of how bad Corey Graham was. Tillman and Vasher, of course, were playing on new-ish, huge contracts. Fuck. Anyway, any time you get a guy who was supposed to go two rounds earlier is always a good pick.

In the fifth round, (where they once again had two picks) the Bears got Johnny Knox, a wide reciever who had been timed at anywhere between 4.4 and 4.28 in the 40-yard dash, depending on who you ask. I'm assuming he'll end up being like Airese Currie a few years ago, where he'll never ever do anything, but message boards shall be aflame with talk of how "this kid can flat-out fly" and how some established starter needs to be immediately benched in his favor. Then again, the Bears have no established starters at WR, so maybe he'll get to play someday. If nothing else, he's got a killer name. The next fifth-rounder was Marcus Freeman, a linebacker straight outta Ohio State. Once again, this dude was supposed to be a third-rounder, so he was a bargain at the very least. Furthermore, Hunter Hillenmeyer hit the wall last year, and Nick Roach just sort of sucked, so holmes could be in the running to be the strong-side linebacker next year. This draft both makes me happy and depresses me, because we picked up a bunch of potential starters, but that's mostly because the ones we already have in place all suck so bad that 4th rounders can come in and take over.

In the sixth round, the Bears got safety Al Afalava, and I know nothing about him, except that he's probably Samoan. I mean, that's a Samoan-sounding name and Oregon-based football teams seem to be full of those dudes. And while I'd normally say that a sixth-round safety is probably just training camp fodder who won't make the team, his competition for a roster spot includes Craig Steltz, Glenn Earl, and Josh Bullocks, and he's a goddamn SAMOAN. Fukkin' superstar right here.

In the seventh round, Lance Louis confuses the hell out of me. No one seems to know where this dude plays. Some places list him as a tight end, and others list him as an offensive guard. He's like three hundred pounds, so I'm assuming guard, but it would be kinda neat to have some massive road-grader of a blocking tight end to go with the pass-catchers they already have. Then again, dude is a seventh-rounder, so I might be thinking about this guy too much. Finally, Derek Kinder is a wide receiver who's the exact kind of dude the seventh round is for. A year ago, he was supposed to go way higher, but he got all hurty in his last year and fell way the fuck down here. Anyway, this guy was a player before then, so what if he just needed a year to get better? Stuff like this is why I think that Marcus Monk was an awesome pick a year ago, even if he didn't make the team. Worth a shot, you know?

So those are my thoughts on the Bears' 2009 draft. Tune in a year from now to see me talk about the next crop of new guys that come in after none of these guys pan out, what with the hurting never stopping and all.