Vinny Cerratto = Goofy

So in the scrap heap contract battle for DeAngelo Hall, the Redskins won, which was not surprising to me. And honestly, I don't have a problem with that. He's getting $500,000 for the rest of the year, and as outrageous as that sounds to me $25 per hour ass (which is also pretty good compared to many), it's a drop in the bucket compared to Al Davis giving him 8 mil for 8 games. DeAngelo is a Virginia Tech boy, so maybe the home cooking will get him righted in Washington, and he can be a competent third corner behind Carlos Rogers and Fred Smoot, allowing Shawn Springs, if he ever gets healthy, to fluctuate between corner and safety and help hold it all together.
But leave it to Vinny Cerratto to somehow still fuck this all up with his relentless retardation. The Skins, to make room for Hall, waived Leigh Torrance, the previous nickelback. Torrance is a third year player, was a decent enough third corner, although he's also the one who gave up that big pass to Donnie Avery, costing the Skins the Rams game, although he's also not the only one playing defense on that play, so I can't fault him entirely. But Torrance was a major player on special teams, and on top of that a great ambassador to the community. I don't really care about that so much, but when you have a pro football player who is smart and cares for people he doesn't even know, it's not a bad idea to keep them around for as long as they are useful, just to pull up the overall team public perception grade point average so to speak. Sitting well underneath Torrance on the depth chart is useless rookie cornerback Justin Tryon (4th round draft pick), who hasn't even really sniffed the field since he was regularly beat like the neighbor's dog in preseason action. Not to mention the fact the Redskins also have another thus far useless rookie in WR Malcolm Kelly, who has been inactive the entire season, having his knee drained like once a week, with the team holding out hope and not putting him on injured reserve, I guess hoping he'll make the field by the end of the year. Ridiculous.
When the Redskins cut veteran punter Derrick Frost in the preseason for rookie Durant Brooks, Frost, on his exit interviews, blasted the Skins and Cerratto for keeping all their draft picks, even if they didn't necessarily deserve it, to make it look like they had an better-than-ever draft. Of course, a few weeks later, the Redskins dug Ryan Plackemeier off the NFL punter scrap heap to replace a completely ineffective Durant Brooks. And really, other than like one reception by Devin Thomas and some good ball hawking plays by safety Chris Horton, this Redskin class of rookies has been completely unnoticeable.
I just found a book at my mom's house that I used to read to my oldest daughter when she was my middle daughter's age now, that I got again to read to the second kid. It's called The Princess Who Never Laughed, and it's a Disney book and has Goofy and his poor mom living in a kingdom where the King's daughter never laughs. They are broke, so Goofy goes in to the castle getting odd jobs to earn food or whatever, and he always fucks it up going home. His mom tells him how to fix it and he does exactly what she says, just fucking it up the next day. Like he drops all the eggs, so she says "put them in your hat." Next day, he gets a bucket of milk, and puts it in his hat, losing the milk. He pulls a fish on a string and carries a cow on his shoulders and all sorts of dumbass shit. The reason I bring this children's book up is because Vinny Cerratto is the football equivalent of Goofy. They have gotten high-profile free agents every year, and not gotten shit to show for it. It became obvious, from looking around the league at successful teams like the Patriots and Giants, that drafting was the way to go. So Goofy Cerratto drafted, and he's sticking to that new plan, even if it makes the team not as good as it could be. He will probably do this for a few years, and quality second-tier veterans will be cut so that useless fucking 23-year-olds can sit around on the bench, stoked that they're not on the practice squad like they should be. Eventually, it will get through to Cerratto that this is not the best path towards success either, and they'll start some new knee-jerk reactionary program that, if everything works out perfectly, will give me a just barely better-than-average team, hopefully in another NFL down year like this one, that I can mistakenly think might make some noise in the playoffs.
In the end of The Princess Who Never Laughed, Goofy makes the princess laugh for the first time ever with his incessant retardation, so the King invites him to live in the castle happily ever after. I am going to assume that the princess equals a Lombardi Trophy in this parallel, and Dan Snyder would be the King. Except Dan Snyder has already invited Cerratto to live in the castle, them having sleep overs with potential coaches for 18 hour interviews over peanut butter brownies and vanilla ice cream Dan Snyder's motherly house servant bakes in the commercial kitchen. So the princess doesn't even have to laugh in this version, which fucking sucks for me, the Redskins fan, who through a lifelong attachment of emotion to this team, has to pretend that this 6-3 team has a chance at being Super Bowl champion, when games like last Monday night's assault and battery by the Steelers expose that as nothing more than drunken delusions.