Bear Down Chicago Bears......

It's amazing how fast one can get dumb to this whole internet shit. Even as I type this, I have the sinking feeling it's not actually going to post anywhere... of course, like all internal warning signs, it'll be ignored.

So yeah... The Bears didn't make the playoffs. Probably because their best player is a punt returner... albeit the best punt returner of all time, but them Bears are a team with a defense that is aging, but dominant at times. So never a good sign when your offense is so piss poor that a Three and Out is considered a win, and your best chance of scoring takes about 9 seconds off the clock. That's a lot of time for a lot of dudes who's knees and backs are gonna start blowing up and breaking down.

Of course, the obvious solution to the problem is to just cut the entire offense... any player who does not play defense or special teams is gone. Maybe hold on to one quarterback, but he doesn't need to know how to run any kind of offense or anything. The offense basically becomes a series of simulated punt returns; just 20 yard throw backs to Hester. Then you can use the roster space and salary cap to have enough bodies to swamp the guns of the opposing offense.

But alas... the NFL has rules against that kind of revolutionary thinking. That... and they have a rule against the self pass; robbing the fans of the majestic sight of a quarterback heaving a ball 60 yards, running at super human speeds and catching his own pass.

I once knew this dude, and everyone has the equivalent of this guy... the guy who loves Notre Dame but has no connection to the school or area in any way... other than his claim that he's 90% Irish, and just ended up with the name Gunkowski by accident. But this guy would always try to explain to me that Notre Dame football was the best thing ever and whatnot, and not just because they won all those titles back in the 1450's, but because they added so much to the game.

Well, one day this dude mentions that Notre Dame invented the forward pass. Now, I never looked into that because there was no Wikipedia when this was mentioned, and since then my short term memory has been destroyed by substance abuse, but... I'm willing to bet that if they did invent it, it ties in with all those championships they won in a row.

It's really some bullshit when you think about it. I imagine it started as some kind of goofy controlled fumble type explanation, but you know no one was covering the guy who first caught a pass, so he just ran into the end zone. There was no real positioning to speak of in those days other than containing the runner, so everyone probably just stopped in confusion, and with no TV or Radio for someone to come and be like "Watch out for Notre Dame, they're making up new rules about throwing the ball," they probably had the element of surprise on everyone.

As you can imagine, that'd have been some bullshit to coach against. It'd be like a team, back in the day, inventing the "11th guy runs off the sideline into in the end zone in the middle of the play" rule. I mean, passing isn't that bad, but that's what it could have lead to. Instead, it led to the powers that be in football over-reacting, and making it so no one could ever try anything crazy ever again.

That play where Roger Craig fumbles the ball and kicks it downfield on the ground to a received for a first down... that kind of shit's illegal now. They put it back at the spot of the fumble, and there's no reason for that shit.

Once... Cleveland in their original Browns incarnation... actually I think even with Bill Belichek as their coach... ran a play where Webster Slaughter didn't go into the huddle and just kind of ducked down on the Browns sideline, but like, in the field of play. Cleveland lined up in a goal line set and Pittsburgh or whoever lined up in a similar set and he was wide open for a touchdown. Now, that's a five yard penalty.

But, if you want to run an offense designed around the premise that defensive players will take themselves out of position to a avoid a potentially career ending cut block... coach of the fucking year.

I couldn't remember my password to this thing... so that hint question came up... Most Overrated Player of All Time... good idea to make it such an open ended question. But I've always had the same answer to that question.

I should probably also find a way to change that question before people access my account and... write longer more useless stuff than this. Probably should... but... again with the memory issues/apathy.